First day back

When school starts you don't just ease back into things. You just jump headfirst into it. As I walked up the stairs all I could think was... "fuck! Fuck! Shit!" I wanted another week of vacation. But then you gotta pay the bills. I started off with my CTM and I had them write up a list of 3 academic goals and 2 personal goals.

I really want to work on taking better care of my CTM. Last year I was so overwhelmed with all the things going on in school and my personal life that I didn't get to give my CTM the attention that I wanted to. I will say though that I had 2/3 of my students trend upwards in their cumulative GPA. I got 2 new CTM and will probably get 4 more to take me to 20. There are still some kids enrolling and there was an orientation today so there will be more kids enrolling after interviews are done.

In my classes, I had students make bumper stickers with their names and 4 answers to personal questions in the 4 corners. Then we shared what was on their bumper sticker. This was just an easy way to build community and for students to share things about themselves. My 3rd period Asian American studies class only has 4 people in it right now. That rocks!!! Of course the number will change and it will get bigger but not substantially bigger. This will be cool cause I will get to give more one on one attention and we will get to go on more field trips and stuff. I wanna take them to the Asian art museum, Japantown, and out to lunch at an Asian restaurant.

Here's to hoping the school year and my teaching will be better than last year.

Batteries Recharged

Well... school's starting back up again. The end of last school year was a whirlwind and I just was crazy busy with work. I lost that blogging feeling... Whoa oh that blogging feeling. The last place I wanted to sit was in front of a computer. Unless it was for Civilization IV or something mindlessly fun like that.

I had the honor of graduating 3 seniors. Sure I wasn't with them from 9th grade, but having gone through the trials and tribulations of the school year I was happy to share in their success. Graduation is what it's all about. I'm aware that America doesn't expect or particularly care if these kids graduate or not. But it sure as hell meant a ton to the parents, family, and friends in that room.

The ceremony was fucking hilarious. Our principal forgot a bunch of the diplomas so she asked the kids to hand back the diplomas so they could be recycled. What really I liked about it was that it just had such a familial atmosphere to the whole thing. I mean it was a ceremony but it wasn't all stiff and rigid. It was a colored folks party.

Over the summer, I taught summer school basic math. It was astonishing to me the math illiteracy. Kids couldn't round to the nearest hundred. Kids couldn't write out 534,938 in word form. There was almost a revolt when it came to fractions. But I had a ball. One of my favorite students learned how to do division. She had been going to tutors, therapists, and doctors and she couldn't do it. But we worked together and she learned how to divide. To be an instrument in a kid's learning is a wonderful thing. It makes me high. It makes me want to skip around the room. I had so much fun teaching basic math. There is an instant gratification thing to it. With history it's like ok they kinda sorta get imperialism... but with math you got the right answer or you don't. Anyways, I had so much fun that I'm going to teach basic math during the school year.

Here's some fucked up shit that happened during the summer to a student. 2 of his friends got shot on separate occasions. That made a grand total of 4 friends lost to violence and 1 friend lost to a car accident within the last year and a half. The violence is spiraling out of control here. The problems and inequities in American society are playing out among the most vulnerable first. Then at some point it will affect the middle and upper class and people will wonder how did it come about.

For my break, AL and I remodeled our place and watched all 5 seasons of Six Feet Under. That show is the best show I've ever seen on tv. 60 or so hours of tv. That was my big accomplishment for my summer break! I got low standards. Claire was my favorite character then Keith. Anyways, that show changed the way I think about death. After watching it, AL and I are talking wills and trusts and stuff. Give me 3 months then pull the plug. I think a trimester is a good amount of time. I also want to be cremated. Spread my ashes in the pacific ocean or something. And I'd like people to have a party for my life not a mourning of my death. We are all going to die. It's just a matter of when. What matters is how we live in this life. We gotta live our whole lives with ourself. Isn't that so fucking profound? I know, I'm the frickin Buddha.

So I had a ethical dilemma during the whole remodeling process. I got my floor from this cool store called Ecohome Improvement. They specialize in environmentally conscious home improvement products. Cork reduces noise problems and is sustainably harvested. Their woods are FSC certified. I like the philosophy of the store and it is in line with my philosophy. They are the shit. But their shit is expensive. Nice as hell... but expensive. White people prices.

The kitchen cabinetry and granite I got from this Chinese store. The cost of the cabinetry and granite was less than half the price of buying it at Home Depot. I was getting
the Chinese prices. So here was the problem. I love being Chinese. I love the history and culture of China. But I know my people. I have a pretty good idea that at the prices that they were selling it for it probably wasn't sustainably harvested. It wasn't from an FSC certified forest. But the cost... and the look. The labor was also done by a Chinese friend of the family. He gave me a ridiculously low price on the labor cost. Chinese prices. Gotta support my people and the low prices don't make it less attractive.

So ultimately I went ahead and got the Chinese stuff and told myself that when I get a house I'll get all the ecostuff. But for right now, cheaper is for the most part better. All in all, it was a great summer though I wish it was longer. I know I'll do a lot better job this school year. I'll be less overwhelmed due to familiarity. I can only get better.

WTF!!!

So I was talking to my World Cultures 2 class about the interwar period. I was going to show them some surrealist art and talk some about existentialist philosophy, jazz, and that kine shit. My anticipatory set was to talk about the disillusionment that people felt having to dealing with all that violence, then using that as the segue to the artistic and philosophical responses that it generated. Knowing the violence that many of my students are confronted with in the "outside" world, I asked them to raise their hand if they had lost someone as a result of violence. MOTHERFUCKING more than half the class raised their hands. I was fucking blown away. The reality of it didn't even really sink in until this weekend. The shit is just straight wrong. I walked by the TV at the gym and there was another deadly shooting in the gym this weekend. My friend informs me that this summer is expected to be particularly bloody as many gang members get released from jail for the sweeps that were done last year. It's low intensity warfare going on in the inner city streets and it's fucking up the kids that grow up in it. You know it's bad when kids just think that that is the way it is.

Bay to Breakers

The annual Bay Area run, drink, and dress up fest. My only gripe... too many naked men not enough naked women. The fascists tried to stop alcohol and nudity, but you can't break a tradition now. Ultimately, they just let it go as well they should. No one hurting anyone and no one getting hurt. I haven't drank alcohol that early in a long time.

Signing statements

This shit just came to my attention maybe about a month ago. I was watching Amy Goodman and she brought it up. Signing statements. Motherfucking signing statements. Little disclaimers on the bills that Bush signs. Little fingers crossed. I'll do the photo op but reject the bill. Brilliant. It's so fucking shady as hell, but it's brilliant. What is the Republican Congress going to do to Bush? Nothing. There isn't a chance in hell the Republicans will ever impeach Bush for Iraq or anything else and anyone with half a brain knows it. Party unity and allegiance is triumphing over separation of powers. Bush is using the Constitution as toilet paper. I watched Schoolhouse Rock. The talking bill never said anything about signing statements. Democrats don't even have enough stones to censure the president. The control of Parliament by the Conservative and Labor Party excludes other voices and aggrandizes the King.

Testing and shit

Testing has been throwing everything off. The bell schedule is completely different. I get there early to prepare bagel and cream cheese donations to the students. A lot of them don't get to eat breakfast so it gets hard to concentrate during the day. The food will pick them up. They need to do well on these high stakes tests so that the school and district will get more money. More than half of my students get free or reduced lunches. I'm working with this cool chick Nora to try and bring better food to the school. The shit they send now is fucking nasty. I won't touch the shit. I mean it's good that the kids get food at all, but I still wish it was better for them. Ideally I would like vegetarian food, but I'd take any improvement in the overall quality.

I think one of the things that bothers me the most about the US is that we don't take care of kids. It's not right to me that the economic situation of the parents should in any way determine the child's access to good health care. You can't fucking choose your family. It bothers me that so many of my students are completely inured to their violent existence. Kids can't go and have fun at a party without worrying about violence. Columbine shit happening. My school getting robbed and being all run down. Then everyone fucking scratching their heads as to what's going on with the kids. The kids are fine. It's the adults that are letting them down.

Working at my school makes me reflect and compare my own high school experience. I never had to dealt with gang violence. When school was done I got to go to martial arts classes or something. If I was just hanging out with my friends, we'd end up doing something stupid cause it sounded like a good idea. But nothing ever really seriously crazy.

Being around my students has taught me a lot about gangs and the gang mentality. I see the allure of joining gangs. In a dangerous and violent environment, it's importantly to know that there are people that got your back in case shit goes down. I got this one student whose mom arranged for him to get jumped into the gang. Mom is a gang member. Kid didn't know he was getting jumped in and he can't get out. He feels trapped in his life and so he drinks until he blacks out. The part he blacks out on is when he's doing his stupidest shit. He's a great fucking kid. Smart but can't get out of the vida loca.

Shout out to my young right wing conservative

I had the honor of having my blog visited by a young right wing conservative that calls herself conservativekat. She's fourteen years old and quite the writer. Check her out.

My goal... to turn her away from the dark side of the force and to have her embrace the true message of Christ (the left wing ultra liberal one where he takes care of the indigent). I'd like for her to use her powers for good and not for empire. But, I can't hate on her because when I was her age I said all kinds of outrageous stuff. So hopefully she'll grow out of it too.

I'm going to need a catchy name for this operation. You know like the Bush administration had OIL: Operation Iraqi Liberation. I need something catchy just like that. Operation Prodigal Daughter Returns? Operation Conservative Reform? Operation Matrix Deprogramming? I'll come up with something....

Steven Colbert has big brass balls

Steven Colbert has got some major balls. He roasts the president at the White House Correspondents' dinner with Bush a only a few feet away from him. It's fucking brilliant and you have to see it If you haven't seen it... you must!

May 1st

So I walked today in the May 1st protest marches. It was really cool to see everyone out there supporting. I made up a sign that said, "I'M CHINESE, BIG WALLS DON'T WORK!!!" Lots of people liked the sign and took a bunch of pictures of me. Then I got interviewed by David Louie for the local channel 7 news broadcast. It was fucking great! My precious seconds of fame. Then when I was at the gym I saw myself on tv. I must get a video copy of my brief interview and my sign, then I'll post it up...well I found a part of the interview in text, but I can't seem to pull up the video. Damn them!!!

DO NOT WORRY!

This is a picture taken on a river in Brazil. The rainforest is fine. No one worry. This is actually quite sad because this is just a big spontaneous mass fish suicide. It's a little known fact that rainforest fish suffer from bouts of depression. They are sad fish. What can you do?

Political thoughts

I can't wait till 2008 because this has to be the most corrupt administration since Ulysses S. Grant. Cronyism is alive and well. I'll say this for Bush...he has got his friends' back. If you're in tight with George he will back you up. Ain't shit going to happen to Kenneth Lay. A fucking presidential pardon wouldn't surprise me at all. I can fucking respect that to some degree. I think it's that honor among thieves idea.

Bush has also done an incredible job uniting the world. Yes, much of that world is uniting against us, but it is uniting. I think South America is where the most interesting action is happening in the world. All these left wing leaders coming into power is really exciting. I think the most exciting was Evo Morales. I mean that man's face is straight indigenous. I think it's great that he's also a part of coca leaf federation.

Then there is Hugo Chavez who is causing the US fits. He has invigorated the majority of poor Venezuelans. Politics will never be the same there. The people know that they have power. The oil and huge US demand gives more money and power to Chavez who can them implement policies that work against US imperialism in South America. Operation Miracle is a brilliant PR move for Chavez and Castro. I really don't like the fact that he's setting himself up to be in the post for a long ass time. I wouldn't be surprised if he tries to pull a Fidel and become a lifer.

I woke up this morning and all I could think was "Do I really have to go to school???" I had kids falling asleep in class and just tired. Shit I was tired. I was used to staying up late and just chilling in the morning. The end of this week will be the halfway point for the quarter. Meaning I'm halfway to being done for the year. Sweet Jesus thank you!!!

I'm fucked cause I still have to make up some work in some credentialling classes and I'm totally burned out with the shit. I don't want to do anything. Most of it is just mindless busy work to me. This is real bad too cause I'm pretty much at the end. I have to dig deep and make myself do shit cause the semester is coming to an end. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! I'm like one of my students.

I made students write that they were to bring their final project work on Friday or they would get a four. They wrote it with their own hands. So 3 things could essentially happen. They will come with their work, they will ditch class, or they will just come with nothing. I'm interested in seeing the proportion.

So every quarter it's about which class is going to be the lagger class. I have to recognize that and not get so pissed by them. This quarter it's my 2nd period. What a fucking lame social dynamics that class has. It's fucking painfully awkward sometimes. And it's not so much individual kids... it's about the perfect combination to maximize stupidity. Kind of a whole is greater than the sum of its parts stupidity.

I have these one group of girls that I've nicknamed the Voltron of Stupidity. Each by themselves ain't bad. But when they get together and their powers combine. Watch out! What cracks me up is that the nickname has stuck with other staff members. Now they refer to them as that. This is a group of mean-spirited, fat, and ugly girls. I hate to be mean and shit, but that' s exactly what they are. They fuck with each other and get the others to take turns hating a person. It fucked up, catty shit.

Taking a break

The first philosophy that I ever got into was Daoism. I think that was because my dad was always talking about Confucianism. Anyways, what I always liked about Daoism was that it sought balance and harmony in one's life and relation to the universe. But I've never been balanced and perhaps that is why I liked it so much. I'm obsessive-compulsive man. I've been so caught up with work that I've been neglecting myself. It's pretty unhealthy. It's very easy to get too wrapped up in teaching. There is always something else you can do. So I've got to learn to put limits on myself. At least I'm not working 16 hour days anymore.

So to take care of myself I've got a workout plan at the gym I'm at. I'm going to learn to rockclimb (It's nonviolent and non competitive). I went to my master massage therapist. Lady has skills and is strong. I went to the dermatologist (cause my skin freaks out under stress). I went to the therapist (cause I want to deal with my shit and not be unhappy anymore). Next week I'm going to the allergist.

2 years ago I was in a major depression. Shit put my life in a standstill. I couldn't manage or deal. It was real bad. As I've come out of it, I realize that I don't ever want to go through that shit again. So now I'm trying to put things place in so I won't go through that shit again. I've also learned that I've got the low grade depression shit going on. So I've got to manage that to make sure it doesn't get to be the major one.

Life is funny. I'm the happiest I've ever been. I love my job. I love my wife and our marriage. Many things are really good. But yet this low grade depression still brings me down. It's like always having a weighted down burka on. I want the unfettered happiness that I deserve.

Mi primero quinceanera

So on Saturday I went to my first quinceanera. A student in one of my classes invited me. It was exciting cause I'd never been to one before and it also gave me the opportunity to interact with my students in a different situation. That sounded clinical. I just wanted to go and hang out and have some fun. It was cool I hung out with a bunch of the fathers and drank some tequila. Then my coworker Joseph came and we hung out. It was a modest affair but still obviously cost a good chunk of change. I felt bad for one of my CTM girls cause she said she wasn't having one cause it was too expensive. She was making all these arguments about it not being practical, but I could tell that she was bummed. But the party was held in the back parking lot of the apartment complex they lived at. Blue tarps were put over areas to create cover. Food was served in a shed. But more importantly there was love and family all around. The thought of being at a family event chills me to the bone. It wouldn't be a happy fun occasion with people hanging out and drinking. It would be tense or uncomfortable. Whenever I hang out with more normal families it's nice.

The cake was this big 3 tiered cake with a fountain under it. Connected to it by plastic stairs were two smaller 2 tiered cakes. Shit was way nicer than my wedding cake...but not as tasty. But there was a time also when she danced with all these different men and people called for me to dance with her too. Man I was bad. Even with the slow beat everyone looking at me just made me really self conscious and awkward. It was like when I was in junior high. LOL!

Marching

So my coworker Jeff and I took a bunch of our students on the protest march that has been happening. But you know what. The truth is that I'm tired of all these illegal Canadians. Motherfuckers coming and taking jobs from hard working Americans. Fucking Canucks are all up in Hollywood and the music industry. Those jobs belong to Americans Goddammit! Jim Carrey... Canadian. Keanu Reeves... Canadian. Pamela Anderson... Canadian. The list goes on. Sometimes they can blend in cause they look a lot like white Americans. But they have infiltrated our pristine American soil and I'm angry. You have to listen carefully to their accent. They will slip in an "eh" or "hoser". I propose that the Minutemen patrol the Canadian border to stop the influx of these illegal Canadians. I'm disgusted by those people with their ways. They need to go back to where they came from!!!

Worse than grading and scheduling???

I hate grading. It's fucking lame. I recently came upon the realization though that I hate scheduling even more. However, now I know something that I hate even more than grading and scheduling. It's updating student folders. Figuring out their credits and GPA. The shit drives me fucking crazy. Luckily I found a gpa calculator that will also do cumulative gpa. God bless the internet because doing that shit by hand was driving me crazy. Plus if I don't add that shit up right then I can fuck up a student's chances for graduating and all that. No fucking pressure there.

I realized though part of why I hate it so much. It shouldn't be my fucking job. I shouldn't be doing folders and I shouldn't be doing scheduling. I knew what I was signing up for, but oftentimes I feel like it's too much. This shit isn't in the teacher description. This is the job of a counselor. SHIT SHIT SHIT!!! I'm a CTM. Counselor, teacher and mentor. FUCK! I have this strange desire to hate the letter C now. But I can't cause it's for cookie.

Classroom Dynamics

It's really funny how different personalities change classroom dynamics. I'm right now teaching 2 sections of World Cultures 1 and in both I did a simulation exercise where students were trapped on a desert island and had to create a community set of rules.

The first class was very calm and people raised their hands and were very communal oriented. There are a couple of outspoken conscious black girls that were taking the lead in the class and helping figure out things. Things went well and they accomplished everything they were supposed to by the end of the class time.

The second class was hilarious. It was the Lord of the Flies. A student took the lead and proclaimed herself the captain. She was telling people what they were going to do and gave "permission" to people to do things. Then another student wanted to break away and make a boat and legalize drugs. Then another student wanted to know about sex and how that would be handled. It was hilarious. At one point a student said something and I just lost my shit and started laughing. It was totally hilarious. By sitting back and watching I learned a lot about student personalities.

The things classes had in common were also interesting. Both classes said cutting off limbs would be a form of punishment. It was kind of gruesome.They also both divided labor along gender lines. That was a trip. But I guess it's all part of the colonized mindset. But other than the classroom dynamics were totally different.

Interestingly, one student that is on the fast track to dropping out really got sparked by this simulation. The guy was debating and was the person taking the lead on arguing for people to make a boat. It was cool cause most of the time he is just sitting there spaced out and not doing anything. It gave me some fucking hope for him. He's got it rough, cause he's got a learning disability and is pretty immature. Then on top of that he is lazy. My coworker said it best, "he starts off slow and then tapers off!"

1 fucking year!

So yesterday was one fucking year. I'm no longer fresh meat. I'm a sophomore. Looking back at where I was a year ago...fucking shit. I've more or less got my style down. Now it's just about filling it with content. I'm the less well known function following form. I've got classroom persona Dave. Hello children! (now Isaac Hayes gets indignant???)

But I started off all my classes with students doing a journal write describing a time when they planned out an activity. Then I gave points to students that shared. From that I emphasized and drew from them about what it takes to plan out an event. Through that I explained metacognition. My 3rd period had a great example with a student recalling a time when he snuck a whole bunch of people into the ice rink and movies. It was a perfect example of metacognition though not of legality. But it really made the kids get it. I find that teaching this works better putting it in context. And that is my goal. I must put things into context for kids. This is how they learn best. Give them something they can relate to in their everyday lives. They need to draw the connections themselves. This is the beauty and the bane of the pedagogy. You can only point the way and sometimes it don't even matter if you do that. Then I told students the day that we were going to have a test and had them make a metacognitive plan to remember the information. Finally, I had them write exit cards telling me what metacognition meant, what the 3 basic elements were, and a question or two from each of the elements. I didn't expect anyone to get all of them, but I wanted them force them to recall something. This worked waaaay better than the first time I taught this.

CTM is crazy. I got 19 kids to watch over now. A lot of personalities to handle. Every single one of them with their own idiosyncrasies and baggage.

Worse than grades???

I've figured out something in teaching that I hate worse than grades. It's scheduling. At my school we don't have an administration staff that schedules students into classes. It's all on the teacher. So I have to get all the students credits up to date and schedule them for classes. It's a paperwork mess. Then to go through all that shit and have a kid get mad with me cause they don't like the classes they have... it totally sucks shit. We've also had to create independent study programs for students out of the blue. Apparently the state said that we didn't have enough instructional minutes. Independent study gives us some relief from the instructional minutes. But it's just more to plan for. The past two weeks we've had meetings almost everyday. Reefuckingdickulous. I'm on meeting overload. The level of organization and coordination is practically nonexistent. So I can't focus on my main task of teaching because I have to deal with the other tasks of administration. I hate to say it but the staff isn't getting the support from the office in terms of administration. Discipline isn't a problem and that is what holds the school together. The tone is also set by the office. But beyond discipline and tone, the office isn't doing it's job. Don't get me wrong. I love the people that I work with. I think they are a great bunch of people, but I don't think I'm getting the office is fulfilling all of its duties.

Now we've started a new quarter. And tomorrow is officially a year at my school. FUCK YEAH! What a killer crazy first year! But what a learning experience. Darwin said, "It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change." I'm adapting the best that I can and feel like I'm starting to float. In the beginning I was sinking. Then I started to bob. Now I feel like I'm floating. Hopefully soon I'll be able to tread water. I'm not even at the point of thinking about swimming yet.

Doing too much

When I get on my students to do things they don't want to do one of the things they like to say is that I'm doing too much. I've taken to heading them off by saying, "I'm told that I do too much." Then I tell them what to do. This usually elicits a smile from them and then they drag their feet and do it. Or I say, "you're not doing enough."

But lately I'm agreeing with them. I feel like I'm doing too much. I let students make up work at the end of the quarter and this ends up with me having to do a ton of work. All last week we had finals schedules and then we did meetings. Meetings to figure out our new independent study schedule. Meetings to shuffle students for scheduling. Time to call parents to set up meetings for this coming week. Figuring out scheduling for all my CTM. There has to be a fucking computer program for this shit. Jeremy and I are making this our summer project.

Start of a new quarter. I'm teaching 2 classes of World Cultures I and one class of World Cultures II. I was supposed to have a prep period but the English guy was cut from staff. He wasn't able to control the students and was constantly getting dissed. I'm happy cause that guy would piss me off all the time. Whenever we'd go out for drinks I'd see how he really was. Alcohol can show the true self sometimes. But the way that he looked down on kids it's no wonder they didn't like him.

Another fucking break in

So... school got broken into again this weekend. That makes 4 times in less than a year that we've been broken into. This time the crooks broke windows to get into classes. There's glass everywhere and we are waiting for the police to come and do prints. This must be a different person this time though, since windows were broken instead of doors just being opened. They stole the new computers we got. Luckily, I put my computer in the locked down computer lab.

Reflection

The week after this is finals week. Then we start a new quarter. Hopefully I can do a better job next quarter than I did this quarter. I recognize that this is my first year but I really feel sorry for the kids that had to have me this year. I know that I didn't really do well for them. It is good that I've created positive relations with students but they also need the history. It was good that I got some curriculum to use too. Now I can mix the curriculum and the textbook along with outside readings. Though I'm not a big fan of the textbook it does have the facts and information that they need. I noticed that my quality of teaching is directly related to how much schooling I'm doing. Meaning that I was a better teacher when I wasn't in my credentialling classes. I had more time to devote to teaching, grading, and all the other crap.

Things haven't been so great for me lately. My work life, personal life, and academic life have all been suffering because I am overworked, overstressed, and burning out. Stress makes everything worse and feel more intense. So now I'm not doing well in 3 things and don't have the time or energy to make one of them better. Like Bilbo Baggins would say, "Why, I feel all thin, sort of stretched, if you know what I mean: like butter that has been scraped over too much bread." If it wasn't for AL I'd be a total wreck.

The Praxis of Pedagogy

Motherfucker!!!! When it rains, it motherfucking pours. There is just so much fucking gang tension. Two of my CTM got kicked out for fighting with each other. School got broke into again. I got more family drama/pathos. No Child Left behind and teacher credentialling is crawling up my ass. I'm just blown away. I just wanted to teach some kids, and this is waaaay more than I signed up for.

This too shall pass.

But in the fucking meanwhile, God damn motherfucking cunt sucking shit it can beat you down. I'm 30 and fucking struggling dealing with all the shit life throws at you.. And I know myself pretty well and am a lot more mature. I can only imagine living through some of the stories that I heard about some kids. One thing that rocked my world to hear about the story of one of my kid's mother. Mom was a drug addict. At some point got slipped some other drugs by people. Continuously raped and tied to train tracks. Showed grandma where the rope had dug into her body. They won't tell the kid cause it would be too traumatic to know. What the fuck is that shit? That is some ridiculous shit to hear. If some lady didn't happen to be walking by... Kid doesn't know, but lives around secrets. Dad is dead and the kid doesn't know why either. More secrets. Ugly secrets. As you can imagine, the kid is a bit fucked in the head and is prone to lying. Live around secrets...

It's so easy to write off a kid that acts like a shit. But you dig a little deeper and you can see their suffering. Some kids you can form a bond or attachment to, some kids you can't. One knucklehead I got came up to me and said that it was important to him that I was a male. That he grew up without a father figure and I was essentially fulfilling part of that role. Makes it hard you be too angry with the kid. Sad really. His brother just got shot and killed recently. Too much suffering.

Praxis of pedagogy

I really bummed about not getting to blog more. But I'm just doing too much as my kids would say. Fucking working like a Chinaman. On Tuesday I admnistered the CAHSEE. That is the California High School Exit Exam. Every kid has to pass it to graduate. There is an essay portion of the test. I read the question. It was the stupidest, most obtuse, ridiculous, preposterous question. Kids were baffled. It was bullshit. The people that makes these tests are fucktards. High stakes standardized testing is such bullshit. Creating more pressure on a student won't make them do better. But that took all day to administer and then I had class from 4-7. The week was just a blur. Trying to teach kids how to come up with a thesis and give them time to read up on their final projects. I also had to deal with crazy CTM shit. Calling around looking for a "lost" CTM. The girl ran away to her girlfriend's house. Turned off her cell phone. Told grandma she was getting on a bus and never came home. Stupid fucked up shit. I'm calling all around getting ahold of kids to see if they know where she was. We get everyone together the next day and all the "reasons" that my CTM ran away seemed to quickly lose their basis. I totally felt stupid in front of the grandma. I never fully realized it until just now. But that CTM is full of shit. Nice girl. I get along with her. But she's full of shit. Her and her buddy. Both are in my CTM. Both... full of shit. This is actually a good thing for me to realize about them. It will make my interactions with them more productive. Anyways, all this shit was done afterschool. I was calling around at 7PM till 8PM. I had a burrito I wanted to eat that in peace. It's the part of the job that is the best/worst at the school. Good close interpersonal relations. But more than just a job.

I'm getting observed next week. It's good but it makes me stressed also.

Ok here's the part that never gets talked about. Farting. Sometimes you just got gas and holding it in will give you a stomachache. In a lot of other jobs you can just get up and go to the bathroom or something. Not so with teaching. You got a whole lot of kids. It's ridiculous. I walk to corners of rooms or pretend to look for something in my closet. But you can't just cut one when you're giving instruction. It doesn't work like that. This one teacher I know would fart around kids that pissed him off and then walked away. Chemical/biological passive aggressive warfare. Fucking hilarious. I was dying when I heard it.

I don't like using the bathroom facilities at my school. No lock on the inside. You gotta yell out and hope the other side can hear you. Makes me feel too vulnerable. It would be the ultimate in embarrassing. Would have trouble making eye contact with that person for a while and we got a small staff. So be cool through school.

The Praxis of Pedagogy

So I've been up writing lesson plans for this Tuesday 9 unit class. It's going to be a long day tomorrow. Anyways, today I decided to dock points of students that didn't have their own SSR book. Next quarter, I will make it mandatory to have one book that students read continuously and if they don't bring it then they lose points on their contracts. I didn't really do a good job of enforcing that and I should have. That aspect of SSR needs some serious honing. In my 1st & 3rd period class, I had students take out the calendars that I made for them and write that they were to bring their final project stuff on Thursday and Friday. Then I wrote that on my homework white board. I've learned that the fewer excuses they can give me for not having their shit, the easier it is to discipline them for their unpreparedness.

In 1st, I taught them SQ3R study techniques and I have to say that I'm getting better at explaining that to students. I've been learning where they will most likely mess up and been addressing that beforehand. It's still a hard technique for students to really get though. At the end of class, I did evaluations of my teaching as required by my credentialling program. Teacher evaluations are really great to do but still intimidating. But shit, I grade them... I was pretty happy though cause students said some pretty cool things. Most really seemed to like metacognition. Students wrote about applying it to other aspects in their life. That really made me happy to read. Another nice one that a student said was that they loved to come to my class cause it is always so calm. That's what I've been trying to achieve so I was really happy to read that. Mood is really important to me. I believe that creating a non-threatening and peaceful environment is essential to learning, especially with the population that I'm working with. The kids I work with deal with so much shit they don't need to get it from me.

In 2nd period, we had a discussion on some questions about "Things Fall Apart." I was pretty happy cause students were really chiming in. I mean they were raising their hands and yelling out the answers they were so into it. The boys also seem to like to break down Okonkwo and talk about how he is a fucked up guy. I even had my "problem" student participating. He was just yelling out, but I was just so happy that he was participating that I let it slide. And when he said something good I immediately rewarded him with academic points and I gave him a 10 on his contract at the end of class. My friend said it best about the kid. He starts off slow and then tapers off. Anyways, I was stoked that the kid exhibited a pulse. Usually he's trying to pass out or not do anything in class. The kid has really low skills but I also think he's high a lot. I know he smokes weed. I just wonder if he's coming to class high.

In 3rd period, we did the terrorism lesson where the students came up with their own definition then a group definition of terrorism. Then i gave them real life situations where the names of the countries and individuals had been changed. They were to apply their definitions of terrorism to the situation and decide who were the terrorists and what activities were terrorist. This is a cool exercise but I'm not organizing it right and I need the entire class period. We were too pressed for time as I read each situation and gave the actual example. i think next time I'll give out all the situations to the groups. That way I won't have to read the situation quickly and tell who the actual countries are.

The Praxis of Pedagogy

God damn what a fucking week. The beginning of the week was all taken up by getting together the grades for the school. Jeremy and I bust our humps creating progress reports for the whole school using easy grade pro. It was a draining fucking effort but the result was pretty good. It's not perfect but we've been instituting an entirely new grading system for the entire school. Shit... we are the fucking IT department. So I'm pretty happy having gotten that out of the way. But I was supposed to turn in a week of detailed ( I mean practically scripted verbatim) lesson plans on Tuesday to my teacher. I didn't turn it in and she busted my balls about it. I just didn't have the fricking time in the week though. It wasn't a lack of desire it was a lack of hours. I realized it this week but I've been putting in 15-16 hour days for a while now. Now I bust on my kids when they don't turn in their work, but for the vast majority of it all they do is school. A lot of them don't have jobs, so their only job is school. I got a FULL time job teaching and going to school.

On Wednesday we had a board meeting from 4-7PM and luckily my principal and our 30 year veteran teacher had my back when talking to my advising teacher. They told her about how I was busting my balls working. That made me feel better and gave me a brief reprieve, but I still had to turn in my work ASAP. This coming week is going to be another killer. I got the detailed lesson plans, Tuesday and Wednesday classes from 4-7, and doing all the shit that I need to not look like a complete fool in front of my students. They've turned in a bunch of stuff to me that still hasn't been graded yet. Grading is totally out the door for me to the detriment of my students.

In other news, I've been working with this cool girl Nora to try and get vegetarian food up in our school. We talked and she told me the first thing that we need to do is see if there is a demand and if people will buy it. So I had students fill out a questionnaire and I got back one of the funniest responses. The question was, "Do you know some reasons why people choose to go vegetarian?" A student answered, "I don't know. But I didn't climb to the top of the food chain to just eat salad." I was fucking rolling. What a funny and honest answer. I may disagree with it, but I can respect it.

What a week. I'm fucking tired. I had my saturday class and I said that I was going to party. AL and I went to this club to go dance cause i had to get it out of my system. Now it's superbowl time. I want Seattle to win cause they are west coast, but Troy Polamalu is my favorite football player. But whoever wins, I just hope it's good.

The Praxis of Pedagogy

Motherfucker! Seems all I do is school shit. I feel like labor before it got organized and wrestled weekends from the capitalists. On Saturday, I was in a linguistics class from 8:30 AM to 4:30PM. And it wasn't exciting linguistics. It was past participle. Present perfect. Direct object. Grammar. We pretty much spent much of the day discussing grammar. It was painful. Incredibly slow and painful. Time flies when you are having fun. Time creeps along when you are in pain. If I didn't have solitaire on my phone I don't know what I would have done. I will be the solitaire champion of the world after this class. Apparently when the whole language school of thought came in, grammar went out. My teacher said few that went through school starting in the 80s got grammar. So that would be me. I can tell you a noun, adjective, verb. But after that, I can't really get into details. There were mostly older people in my class and a few of them really seemed to be having a ball.

So then I get home and pass out at 8 PM and miss my friend's birthday. That is the 2nd friend's birthday that I've missed cause I just passed the fuck out. I'm always up late on the weekdays and come the weekend I'm fucking out! But you know what...I'm having more fun doing this than I ever did selling pins. And pins was less work with more money. But that shit drove me crazy. Too much bad karma in that for me.

Anyways on Sunday, my buddy Jeremy and I worked on getting Easy Grade Pro up and running to make progress reports. They are way past due by the way. But people weren't getting us grades and we were both swamped with shit. So I talked to the principal and got today a minimum day to do grades. We're still not finished and have to input some Wednesday grades. I have class from 4-7 tomorrow so I can't really input more grades afterschool.

I started off all the classes with SSR as always. Still bothers me that students forget to bring books on Monday. Next quarter I will have to take points off on contracts when students don't have their SSR books. So in 1st period I had a test review game for 1st period. In 2nd period we did our double entry journal and read "Things Fall Apart." The first part of the book really gets into Ibo culture and the kids are finding it kind of boring. They want something to happen. But I think that once the second half of the book starts they will get into it more. The 1st half will really make the 2nd half more interesting because readers will understand the character and background more. In 3rd period, I handed out the reading that I used previously about Islam from the "Cartoon History of the Universe." Then I did a 4 square hold em up exercise. In this exercise, students read a page of the book and then I would ask them a question. They would then write the answer in one square of a piece of paper that had been folded up 4 times. This is to check for reading comprehension. This was actually quite effective cause it allowed me to see that I have one new student with incredibly low skills. I mean the "Cartoon History" is a bit advanced in it's writing, but the pictures sure do help. But this student had very low skills and had I not spoken to her about it after class then I wouldn't have known. This was a very effective lesson for me on gauging student's reading comprehension. Much better than me reading and students just following along. Makes them have to do some work. I haven't even realized it, but the end of this quarter is coming up quick.

The Praxis of Pedagogy

So a lot of my kids in the 3rd period class were into the movie "Elizabeth" with Cate Blanchett. It's a testament to how good the movie is that my poor urban colored kids are into it. It's cool. I stop the movie and break down the fight between Catholics and Protestants and just explain palace intrigue.

I've assigned 1 week drawing projects in various classes and I realize that I have to give students at least 3 times in class to work on their project or they won't. I still have a lot of students that didn't turn in stuff. Assigning homework doesn't work out so well. I still assign homework every so often but mostly I try to do everything in class. Students just won't turn in their homework. So I have to try to set them up in as many situations that they can succeed but still be challenged. I think that I have to scaffold homework. Work up to it. The only thing that I regularly assign is metacognitive plans of action for passing tests. I count them as test points so I tell them to do it or not get test points. That still doesn't ensure 100% completion but a much higher %.

We got contracts at our school and it's a great thing, but I don't use it enough. I don't write student progress on their contracts enough and that is one of our best intervention strategies. We have to let our CTMs know what is going on with students.

So tomorrow morning I have to get up to get to a 8:30-5 class. AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
There's nothing good about this. The only silver lining will be that it will be done. I am going to be one burned out unhappy guy. I'm already having a problem with time management. I don't know what I'm going to do next.

The Praxis of Pedagogy

What an interesting day today. I went to a nearby local newspaper with my journalism class and met an incredible character. This guy was a big pimp in Oakland back in his day. Ran 7 white women. Was in the jail for 2nd degree murder. He had a crazy life and story and could chop it up. He definitely had the gift of gab. While I have major ethical and philosophical differences with his once chosen lifestyle, I admire his ability to manipulate people and situations using his speaking ability. Pimps are masters of the mind fuck. I mean they have women running around having sex to feed their lifestyle. That's power. One thing that he told me that tripped me out was that 16th and Market was nicknamed Baby Mart cause there were 9 year old prostitutes working the streets. Trip the fuck out. The environment that my students grow up in is disheartening. Enervating. What a unique character that knows a side of the city that I'll never know. Aka the seedy underbelly. Definitely a fascinating learning experience for me. The kids have so many negative images around them that it's hard to transcend the situation. It's sad to see a kid drive their life into the ground looking for the slightest bit of pleasure to escape their miserable existence.

Praxis of Pedagogy

I'm tired of keeping days. It's been a fucking long time. When this quarter ends it will be a year. So fuck the time.

Today was just one of those fucked up long stupid days. I had credentialling classes at 4:00 PM. I didn't get to bed till 2:30 the night before cause i was up writing a detailed week of lesson plans for my 4 o clock class. Then when I got up I couldn't do it so I didn't take a shower. That made me feel stinky and grimy the whole day long. So i'm dogging it the whole day. i mean i was having trouble. At least, teaching wasn't that crazy cause we did a journal write and watched Hotel Rwanda in 1st period. 2nd period we had a guest speaker talk and show a video about the US government desecrating more native american land. Students that participate will get extra credit. 3rd period a test and I started to show the movie "Elizabeth" with Cate Blanchett. 4th period I was saved by a fellow credentialling teacher that is getting her feet wet at my school. Then from work I ran to my credentialling class to be told that my classes are every week instead of every 2 weeks. This is a 9 unit class. 9 units! 1 week of detailed lesson plans every week. She pretty much said she wants to see a verbatim script. That's going to be a lot of work on top of another class tomorrow 4-7 and 6 Saturday classes from 8:30-5. Fucking ridiculous. Then I get home and the toilet overflows on me. I got to bleach clean the bathroom floor and
toilet bowl. I was cussing up a fucking storm. Royally pissed off. I'm still a bit wound up from the day.

You know how when you get home from a hard day you have to decompress. Well when you come back and shitty things happen the decompression cycle is delayed. Now I can semi-laugh about it. Though I still got some residual bile in my throat. This too shall pass.

Day 125-126: The Praxis of Pedagogy

Ok 125 days of blogging I can get off the lesson planning for a while and just talk about what I see and think in general.

There are a lot of hurt kids out there. And they are still little. Their bodies may be physically mature/maturing, but they are mentally and emotionally incredibly immature. Transitioning from elementary to high school was a big jump for me. This has been an incredible experience for me and I'm having fun. Don't get me wrong, there are things that I just hate about teaching, e.g. grading. But overall, I'm having a lot of fun. Working with the kids is great. I don't really have any discipline problems anymore. I can't remember the last time I had to yell at a kid. It's pretty cool. I think I'm required to do far more than I get paid for, but I knew what I was signing up for. The experience and environment is constantly stimulating and challenging. Other than more money, what else could I ask for.

I also feel like I've gained the respect of fellow teachers and students. If there's one thing that I've learned working with kids, it's that you can't get shit from them unless they respect you. That's why one of the new teachers can't get his class on lockdown. They don't respect him. And truthfully, I'm not the biggest fan myself. Gaining the respect of my peers is a nice thing to have too. I just feel like I can be myself around them. My high school teaching experience will be a year at the end of this quarter. The first year is always the hardest. Very intense experience.

Day 123-124: The Praxis of Pedagogy

Credentialling classes are starting next week. The horror!!! Just when I was starting to feel sane and able to deal with teaching. Then along comes the credentialling process. The process is so ridiculous. No Child Left Behind has been absolutely terrible for education. AL's teacher friend knows this guy that works special ed. The severely handicapped special ed. The kine job where at some point in the day you're going to be wiping a teenager's ass. It's a hard core job. Having worked with the mentally handicapped, it takes serious heart. I didn't have it in me. The job bummed me out frankly. Anyways, this guy can't keep his job cause he can't pass the CSET test. What the fuck does he need to know that's on a standardized test to work with severely handicapped kids??? The process drives good people away. And the fees to pay for the CSET!!!! Ridiculous. But you have to pass the CBEST first. That is the barebones minimum test that allows you to be a sub. There's the fee for that too. Then you have to be in a school. Take out some loans. All to get a low pay job where you're overworked. NCLB has made it where some schools can only hire teachers with certifications. All the impediments to the goal narrow the pool of talent to a few highly dedicated and/or financially comfortable group of people. So we got a lot of white women in teaching. Bless their hearts for being there, but there needs to be more diversity in the pool. Not every kid is able to relate to a middle class white lady. You can read all the books in the world about teaching but it don't mean shit until you get in a classroom full of kids and have to actually orchestrate the kids.

I keep the school counselor very busy. I'm constantly referring people to her. At least 2 kids a week. So many kids need mental health counseling. It's really quite sad. One of the positive things that I have gotten out of teacher ed is the idea of teaching reading as a form of psychotherapy. So I'm really trying to break down the psychology of the character of Okonkwo. He really is a rich character that leads a tragic life. His extreme machismo and inability to truly be intimate with a person is beautifully told. This on the backdrop of European colonialism makes for a very interesting read. I find it very fucked up funny that the "old school" English department at AL's school bashes this book. People have called it incoherent and unreadable. Ok... I'll say it. Cracker ass crackers!!!! There I said it. Wow... I do feel better.

So I helped bring the staff into the 21st century by getting them to use this grading software called Easy Grade Pro. The people that have been using it are all really into it. But there are some on the staff that are so technology-phobic. It's really quite sad. And so since I am the most familiar with the software, I've taken on the job of creating the progress reports using the software. But I can't do my job completely until I have all the names and grades from people. This of course hasn't happened since the techno-phobes haven't got the program up and running.

My school is under heat and is being threatened with shutdown. We are trying to put the ducks in a row so that we can better fight our adversary. Our domain name should be up tomorrow or Friday and hopefully we can have a bare-bones website up by the 1st of the month.

It's big time classist and racist the way public education does the low income urban youth. In my opinion, it is unjust the way my kids are treated by the system. I'm not talking about things parents or kids may have done. Good and bad choices have been made. But if I'm going to do an institutional or structural analysis of the public education system, then I'd say it is totally fucked up and needs some dire help. Yup... my analysis is essentially FUBAR.

I love MLK Day

Let me start by saying that I will enjoy a paid day off for all of these holidays, but MLK is my favorite federal holiday.

So New Year's Day is cool. I like it, but it really has no meaning. It's a time marker thing. Another year. A NEW year. Whatever. There really is no major difference between December 31 and January 1. We just have big hype over it. Chinese New Year's is coming up. It's a different marker, but just a time marker. It's a reason to party and I'm down with it.

Washington, Memorial, and Independence Day. I know the white founding fathers didn't have my ass in mind when they were having their little revolution. The guys fucked up cause they put it in writing. Then people like King could call them on it. National holidays are crazy cause they just reinforce nationalism. An identity that people have taken to a level where it's almost sacred.
My bro is like that. It's a fanatical trip. Protect the state. Anyways, what am I supposed to think about? George Washington is to America what Abraham was to Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. That we got one on the man cause he put it in writing? What am I supposed to BBQ and where do I watch fireworks?

Labor Day: Throw the workers a bone and then go back to oppressing them. You can still BBQ in Northern California.

Columbus Day and Thanksgiving: Those are entire rants by themselves. Still able to BBQ in October but you might have to wear a fleece. Thanksgiving you bake or deep fry. No more BBQ.

Veteran's Day: Alright. People served in their own way. I just don't happen to like policies people had to carry out. But that's not the veteran's fault. By any means. Holiday for them. How do I celebrate? Dinner out?

Christmas: I've previously written about it. I'm not Christian and I think that goes against the 1st amendment. Cider anyone?

But MLK day. The US government recognizing a man who was down with the struggle. A black man! A man whose writings trashed the US government, and if alive would probably still. Now that's cool. That the US really only focuses on his "I have a Dream" speech is bothersome but makes sense. Don't want to go too deep into what he was about. It's almost like Constantine turning Christian. MLK day means something to me. It's the part America that I'm down with. What are we supposed to do to celebrate it? Are there any stores open? Maybe I should conspicuously consume. I'll probably just end up lesson planning and grading though.

Day 121-122: The Praxis of Pedagogy

On Thursday 1st period, I had this group called HIFY come in and do an anti-homophobia workshop. I've scheduled them so they come to every class. This was a great presentation that was really well done. The pyramid of oppression they created was great. At the base of the pyramid were how people were treated and oppressed in everyday life, i.e. pejoratives, . The next level was institutional oppression, and the top level was violence and murders etc. Their final idea was that the top was built on the base and if we change the base we can change the top. Great stuff.

At second period we read "Things Fall Apart" and I asked them basic "Are you alive, paying attention, and getting it" questions while they raised thumbs up and thumbs down. Just getting some to participate at all is like pulling teeth. I'm really happy that we studied Erik Erickson's psychosocial development because this really gives me a framework and developmental structure for analyzing the character of Okonkwo. When we got to the last 10 minutes, I told them to work on coloring and making their bookmark look nice. Instead they just packed up and started talking. That totally didn't work out.

3rd period: I let students prepare for their presentation on Friday. My friend that works in the office doesn't have enough help and the place is totally old school.


Friday 1st period & 2nd period: We did a short read along to "Disposable People" and then we played an I-message communication building activity. I had students get into a circle and we briefly reviewed I-messages vs. You-messages. Then, they took a piece of paper that I gave them and made 4 boxes. From there they all wrote a You-message in one box. Then they crumpled it up and tossed it in the center of the circle. Next, students picked a new paper and wrote an I-message version of the You-message. They did this to fill all 3 boxes. When this was done we had a brief discussion about it. With the remaining time, I had an auction and participation points went for 30 tickets on average in 1st period. Surprisingly, in 2nd period the participation points went for much lower. And that's the class that needs more points... but perhaps it's because 1st period has more tickets out and so there's inflation.

Friday 3rd period: We had the historical figure press conference on the ideal form of government. My pair that played Queen Elizabeth were both absent. How coincidental! Students seemed to have fun with it and there was student acting and character knowledge ranged from well studied to "Are you just going to try to look up the answer on the paper after I ask it and I'm supposed to wait for you?" So next week I have to recap it and give the proper information since some students didn't answer the question that I told them I was going to ask all week long. Holy fucking shit I'm an idiot. This would have been a perfect project to do metacognitively. What the fuck was I thinking??? Well then I'm going to have to apply this to everything else.

Day 119-120: The Praxis of Pedagogy

On Tuesday I started off all the classes with a journal write on if they were happy with the type of person that they were? What type of person did they want to be? And a few other questions along the same line. Lots of people seemed to get into this one. My classes are heavy on self-reflection.

On Tuesday 1st period, we finished up the placards and then I had students present placards and explain what they saw, the symbolic motive that they chose (economic, political, ideological, religious, and exploratory), and why they chose that motive. After that I told them what the picture actually was. Most of the students were dead on with it. I'm really liking the TCI stuff and now I feel like I have a better foundation to work from.

In second period, we read more of "Things Fall Apart." I have to get them more interactive with this. I am having them make a bookmark with me but I have to ask more thumbs up, thumbs down questions. I'm also going to give them time to make their bookmarks better with pictures.

In 3rd period, I gave students time to research their characters. Kids are getting into this. They are researching and getting on the internet and working together. I'm interested in seeing how this press conference goes.

In 1st period Wednesday, we started into the rulebook. Jeremy led that while I went around showing kids their grades. We're going to have the rules test next week and the students have to pass it to pass the class. And they have to pass the class to stay in our school. For the 2nd hour, we had a guy come in and talk about drugs with the students. He's a really good presenter and they are always interested when someone is talking about drugs.

In 2nd period Wednesday, we got final copies from students and started putting together our zine. It's pretty cool cause it's actually coming together. I think once we put out our first one then students will be more excited for the second. When they start to get their first readers they will be more into it.

I was at school Tuesday night till 7 cause we were having a big board meeting. Some folks want to close down my school and we have to position ourselves so that we don't get closed down. There is a lot of planning and shit to do. As I've written before, the school is rather archaic. I just put in the mail a check to get a domain name and hosting for a website. We are going to compile all the information about the school onto this website so that we can start to have a media campaign. Get our name and info out there. My school has been around for more than 30 years but it's the best kept secret in the city. We're going to have to change that.

Day 118: The Praxis of Pedagogy

I started off 1st period with assigned seats. I was surprised because there wasn't really much grumbling about it. Then we had SSR. In 2nd and 3rd period, I made seating charts while they read. I should have done the seating chart earlier, but would-of-could-of-should-of. We'll see how the spots work. When reading was done, I told them about Missing work makeup day and auction on Friday. I'm going to auction off participation points. It's a little cycle where they get the points by participating, but they can also buy points if they bid against others. After that, I had students hand back graded work and I handed back exams with comments on the metacognitive questions I had them write on. I'm trying to get some of them to think about why there is a disparity between what they thought they were going to get with their metacognitive plan of action and what they actually got. Then I handed out calendars and had them fill out information on the calendar. This all should have been done in the beginning of the quarter, but I'll do that next time.

In 1st period, I started off with briefly having a student review the scramble for furniture exercise and then I broke them into pairs and we went over a worksheet on the motives for imperialism. There were 5 motives given and they were to design a visual symbol for it. Then I handed out placards where they describe what they see, motives, and why they chose that motive. The placards are imperialist pictures and propaganda and it's about deciphering what they see. This took a while to explain but I went around and checked students' work out and they seem to be doing ok. I'm continuing and hopefully finishing this tomorrow.

In 2nd period, we read "Things Fall Apart" while working on bookmarks. I'm getting them to buy into the idea of using the bookmark by saying that they might be able to use it on a test if I were to give one to them. Might just maybe.

In 3rd period, we reviewed the survivor game and students defined autocracy, oligarchy, and democracy again. Next, I made a chart listing the advantages and disadvantages of democracy. From there I showed an overhead timeline of democracy. Greeks had democracy in 500 B.C.E. and the Europeans don't come back to it until the 1700s. What a huge break. What kind of continuity is that? The Magna Carta limited power and there was a model parliament in 1295, but nothing really close to a democracy. How can we even talk about an evolution of Democracy. It was more of a regression and return back to democracy. Anyways... there assignment is that we are going to enact a press conference with historical figures to discuss the ideas about the ideal form of government. That press conference will take place Friday. I gave them different historical figures and told them the major press conference questions. "What is the ideal form of government? Why? Can people be trusted to govern?" What's interesting is the implicit assumption that government is necessary. I think after this I would like to discuss a bit of anarchy theory and the question of whether or not government is necessary at all.

Day 116-117 The Praxis of Pedagogy

Thursday was the first day that I used the TCI stuff that I had photocopied. It worked out rather well. The students like group work and I got a lot of positive feedback from them. I've taken to choosing students to stamp and collect homework. They like to feel like they are a part of the class and doing something. In particular, I've started off choosing students that got "problems." The ones that have started to expect failure in school. They are the ones that feel the least included in classroom. Getting them to participate and "buy in" to the class experience is very important to the overall attitude and general mood of the class. The dynamics of classrooms are absolutely fascinating to me. There are some students that head to the back of the classroom as soon as they get there. I know who these students are. Then everyday I tell them the same thing, "Move forward. "Just to fuck with their heads, next week, I'm going to take my rollable whiteboard and move it to the back of the classroom and have everyone turn their desks around. Then they will be in the front of the classroom. I'll later tell them it was a sociological experiment. To be able to upset their routine, their habits, their dead behaviors by changing where they are in relation to the class and teacher. Now if the students were smarter they would start to sit not in the back, but 1 up from it. Shit I've even told some of the students that, But they keep sitting in the back.

So in first period, I read "Disposable People" with them doing thumbs up/thumbs down when I asked yes or no questions. To do the activity, I broke them up into pairs and had them move all the desks except 7 desks to the back of the class. Next time I will clearly delineate what is in play in the class and move all of the desks to the back of the class. Then I handed out instructions that were different for one pair. The pairs then went to their task. So then the one group with the different instructions then went to claiming desks in the name of their country and flag that they had made previously. Other groups were making maps. Then groups started to get into it when they saw 1 group already starting. Then there was a relative frenzy for trying to claim objects in the class. Kids were claiming everything. Next time I'll limit it to desks. After this exercise I had them put desks back. I had told them they were going to rearrange furniture but didn't let them. Next time I'll let them. Then, I put an overhead up that had a bunch of discussion questions. Finally, I keyed them into the fact that the exercise was essentially how the European colonists broke up Africa. Some groups got started before the rest and ended up with more stuff. Then, I tied in the idea of social darwinism, though I didn't go into that as much as I should have. Their feelings of control were the same ones that the imperialists felt. We all have it in us.

In 2nd period, I started off presenting a powerpoint presentation that AL had made up for background info on Nigeria. Great powerpoint that she made. Really well done. Then we started reading "Things Fall Apart." I am very interested in seeing how AL's lesson planning turns out with this class, cause I'm using all her shit. I'm not an English teacher and I'm teaching an English class. So I'm pulling from the English teacher. After reading the 1st chapter and a bit of the 2nd, I stopped and had students make bookmarks. They folded paper into 3rds and they wrote columns for title, characters, setting, quotes, and human issues and conflict. The last column they continued quotes but I'm going to change it to add on more place for characters.

In 3rd period, we just read "Things Fall Apart" and made bookmarks to start. I didn't do the powerpoint and I'm interested in comparing the two classes and how well one does compared to the other. It won't be a fair comparison since one class only reads once a week. For the activity, I gave student directions and told them they were on a deserted island and had to build a community. They had to come up with a rulebook and everyone had to sign and approve the book. While they followed the directions I sat back and took notes. It was very interesting to see latent tendencies in students. A group of students have taken control of the classroom and are the "power centers" of the classroom. As such, they did all the deciding for the class. It was "Does everyone agree to that? Ok good?" My little oligarchs. People expressed the desire for violent punishment for violators of law. My little flies. Next time I'm going to teach "Lord of the Flies" to World Cultures I instead of "Things Fall Apart." It was funny cause students signed a paper approving the rulebook without ever looking at it. And my greatest lil autocrat called out rules after the book had been signed. He assigned jobs to people without their input. It was great. My budding Mobuto. Then I put up discussion questions on the overhead and I spoke about some of the things that I observed. I like observing classrooms. I learn a lot about students.

All in all the TCI shit was great. Very fucking helpful. Imagine that. Premade simulations to make my life easier. It doesn't allow me to sit around and do nothing. But now I have a foundation with which to work from.

On Friday, every class did the same thing. A student stamped and collected homework. Then the metacognition quiz and binder check. After the quiz, I taught the I-messages lesson to them. This went very well. I started off by having students come up with words that have similar roots as communication. Then I talked about linguistic roots of communication and stressed the idea of communication as being the foundation of community. This led into the exercise. You can't talk "social" studies without people being able to communicate effectively. I don't believe that social studies should be just an academic subject taught. I believe that it is the study of humanity so that we can address our own. We can gather examples of how to live our lives and often how not to live our lives.

So then I get home, have dinner with AL, and fall asleep at 7pm on a Friday night. Then I get up at 5:00 in the morning. Awesome!!! I'm so fucking exciting!

Bucky Katt

Day 115: The Praxis of Pedagogy

We started off meta talking about homework and stuff. Students haven't turned in anything. More than half the class is failing right now and we're coming up on the midquarter assessment. Lovely. Anyways, we started off finishing up on what we were doing for the class project and hammering out the details. Our main lesson was talking about communications and I messages. We started off breaking them into groups and then having those groups come up with feeling words for 5 minutes. Then we made a board full of their feeling words. Then we discussed sharing feelings as opposed to blaming. We showed them an overhead of I messages vs YOU messages. Then we had them fold up paper into 4 squares and write an I message to their friend, a relative, a classmate, and a teacher. Finally we had them review their I messages in their groups and change any YOU messages to I messages. This is a cool exercise that we could have executed better but the class is a bunch of slugs. We are going to have to make a seating arrangement cause this isn't working out. There are a lot of knuckleheads in the class. We were going to do a rules intro but we didn't get the material together in time and there were no new rule books out.

In Journalism, we started off telling people their tasks and we told them we would meet back up 20 minutes before the class was over. More than half of our "writers" didn't have any writing to hand us in. 2 weeks before our final product is made and we don't have any content. Sweet. I looked over the few writers' work that was turned in and discussed their work with them. People were being pretty active and the layout team put out a rough draft cover and table of contents from the computer. It was pretty sweet. The student led part of this class needs to be ramped up more but I appreciate this class cause we can step out of the room every so often and not have it be chaos.

Day 114: The Praxis of Pedagogy

So today wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I was dreading today. My brain had turned to mush. I didn't want to be there. But then things started to go and it wasn't so bad. I started off the day with a journal write about what they did on break. Then I had students share. Many are a lot more into the writing if they have to share it. So much of school is making a kid feel good about themselves. Self-esteem means a lot and so many of my kids don't think very well of themselves. It's sad to be around that energy and feelings.

Next, I handed back students' tests. We went over the test answers together and then I gave them a paper asking metacognitive questions about how they actually did on the test. This was tied into how well they developed and executed their plan of action. I didn't do it, but on Friday I've decided to have them compare their evaluations that they wrote during the test and the evaluations they conducted today. In many cases there was a disparity between what they thought they were going to get and what they got. A good meta question is, "what is the reason for that disparity?" to have a binder check where students keep all their work, especially their metacognitive plans.

After this, I read through the syllabus with them and broke everything down. I've done the very useful thing of posting my syllabi and other stuff on the back wall. Now I be able to deal with less excuses about, "I lost this paper and I didn't know this or that." I'm sure I'll still get them but then I'll be able to bust on them for using the excuse. All my classes were going far faster than I realized they would. Lessons weren't as long as they should have been.

I told them they were going to have a metacog test on Friday and that it was going to be a blank paper and they would write down 3 questions for developing a plan, 3 for maintain/monitoring a plan, and 3 for evaluating the plan. Their homework/quiz grade was to develop a plan to turn in Thursday. Maintain/monitor that plan and turn it in Friday. Then on the test I have questions evaluating their own plan.

With that done, I had about 10 minutes left in classes and so I did contracts and wrote students test grades on the contract. I'm hoping that constantly answering metacog questions will improve their thinking. I have to admit that teaching metacog has made me more aware of it and improved my thinking. I'm not just the president, I'm also a member.

Happy 2006! Resolutions...

It's finally a new year. I'm really happy to be done with 2005. There were some really great things that happened, like getting married. But there were also some really really crazy things that have happened. It was essentially the rollercoaster/sine wave that is life.

All in all though, I am happier now than I've ever been in my life. So...New Year's resolutions. I've decided to set more attainable goals this year. I want to be a more DIY kind of guy. I want to take better care of my physical health. I want to cook more vegetarian food and brownbag it to work more. If I can do any little bit of those 3 things then I'll be golden. I suppose that I should put in that I want to be a better teacher, but that goes without saying. But the way that I look at it, I can only get better. When you start at the bottom you can only go up. I don't have time to plateau right now.

Here's to hoping that 2006 will be better for everyone than 2005. A little respite in the vida loca would be greatly appreciated. I would be incredibly happy if the rollercoaster/sine wave chilled out at the node for a while.