Taking a break

The first philosophy that I ever got into was Daoism. I think that was because my dad was always talking about Confucianism. Anyways, what I always liked about Daoism was that it sought balance and harmony in one's life and relation to the universe. But I've never been balanced and perhaps that is why I liked it so much. I'm obsessive-compulsive man. I've been so caught up with work that I've been neglecting myself. It's pretty unhealthy. It's very easy to get too wrapped up in teaching. There is always something else you can do. So I've got to learn to put limits on myself. At least I'm not working 16 hour days anymore.

So to take care of myself I've got a workout plan at the gym I'm at. I'm going to learn to rockclimb (It's nonviolent and non competitive). I went to my master massage therapist. Lady has skills and is strong. I went to the dermatologist (cause my skin freaks out under stress). I went to the therapist (cause I want to deal with my shit and not be unhappy anymore). Next week I'm going to the allergist.

2 years ago I was in a major depression. Shit put my life in a standstill. I couldn't manage or deal. It was real bad. As I've come out of it, I realize that I don't ever want to go through that shit again. So now I'm trying to put things place in so I won't go through that shit again. I've also learned that I've got the low grade depression shit going on. So I've got to manage that to make sure it doesn't get to be the major one.

Life is funny. I'm the happiest I've ever been. I love my job. I love my wife and our marriage. Many things are really good. But yet this low grade depression still brings me down. It's like always having a weighted down burka on. I want the unfettered happiness that I deserve.