Testing and shit

Testing has been throwing everything off. The bell schedule is completely different. I get there early to prepare bagel and cream cheese donations to the students. A lot of them don't get to eat breakfast so it gets hard to concentrate during the day. The food will pick them up. They need to do well on these high stakes tests so that the school and district will get more money. More than half of my students get free or reduced lunches. I'm working with this cool chick Nora to try and bring better food to the school. The shit they send now is fucking nasty. I won't touch the shit. I mean it's good that the kids get food at all, but I still wish it was better for them. Ideally I would like vegetarian food, but I'd take any improvement in the overall quality.

I think one of the things that bothers me the most about the US is that we don't take care of kids. It's not right to me that the economic situation of the parents should in any way determine the child's access to good health care. You can't fucking choose your family. It bothers me that so many of my students are completely inured to their violent existence. Kids can't go and have fun at a party without worrying about violence. Columbine shit happening. My school getting robbed and being all run down. Then everyone fucking scratching their heads as to what's going on with the kids. The kids are fine. It's the adults that are letting them down.

Working at my school makes me reflect and compare my own high school experience. I never had to dealt with gang violence. When school was done I got to go to martial arts classes or something. If I was just hanging out with my friends, we'd end up doing something stupid cause it sounded like a good idea. But nothing ever really seriously crazy.

Being around my students has taught me a lot about gangs and the gang mentality. I see the allure of joining gangs. In a dangerous and violent environment, it's importantly to know that there are people that got your back in case shit goes down. I got this one student whose mom arranged for him to get jumped into the gang. Mom is a gang member. Kid didn't know he was getting jumped in and he can't get out. He feels trapped in his life and so he drinks until he blacks out. The part he blacks out on is when he's doing his stupidest shit. He's a great fucking kid. Smart but can't get out of the vida loca.