Motherfucker!!!! When it rains, it motherfucking pours. There is just so much fucking gang tension. Two of my CTM got kicked out for fighting with each other. School got broke into again. I got more family drama/pathos. No Child Left behind and teacher credentialling is crawling up my ass. I'm just blown away. I just wanted to teach some kids, and this is waaaay more than I signed up for.
This too shall pass.
But in the fucking meanwhile, God damn motherfucking cunt sucking shit it can beat you down. I'm 30 and fucking struggling dealing with all the shit life throws at you.. And I know myself pretty well and am a lot more mature. I can only imagine living through some of the stories that I heard about some kids. One thing that rocked my world to hear about the story of one of my kid's mother. Mom was a drug addict. At some point got slipped some other drugs by people. Continuously raped and tied to train tracks. Showed grandma where the rope had dug into her body. They won't tell the kid cause it would be too traumatic to know. What the fuck is that shit? That is some ridiculous shit to hear. If some lady didn't happen to be walking by... Kid doesn't know, but lives around secrets. Dad is dead and the kid doesn't know why either. More secrets. Ugly secrets. As you can imagine, the kid is a bit fucked in the head and is prone to lying. Live around secrets...
It's so easy to write off a kid that acts like a shit. But you dig a little deeper and you can see their suffering. Some kids you can form a bond or attachment to, some kids you can't. One knucklehead I got came up to me and said that it was important to him that I was a male. That he grew up without a father figure and I was essentially fulfilling part of that role. Makes it hard you be too angry with the kid. Sad really. His brother just got shot and killed recently. Too much suffering.
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