Reflections on Christmas

I'm not Christian. But Christmas is everywhere in America. I understand that. This is a predominately Christian nation. There is the ideal of secularism but not necessarily the reality of it. How very American. Lofty lofty ideals...not so much in reality. But Krishna bless America for having those ideals, cause we can use it like a promissory note. Of course, that promise needs to be exacted, but still it's there.

So here's the thing. AL celebrates Christmas. Not in the Christ-Mass way but in the secular pagan way. The ritual of it. The assurance of it. That's fine. But I don't. And I don't really want to celebrate it. I mean I'm down with what Jesus was all about, but Christmas definitely isn't the embodiment of his values and ideals. Jesus was the cat that went around and hung out with all the people at the bottom of society. The beggars, lepers, prostitutes and tax collectors. He said you can't serve both God and Mammon. He overturned money changers' tables in the temple. He said God judges us by how we treat the least among us. He turned water into wine making him a party favorite. He said don't judge others lest you be judged. When do I ever use the word lest other than when quoting Jesus (or rather the translation of translations compiled into text by the fair and just Roman Empire.) In short, Jesus was down with the people. If he was around now he'd be killed all over again. He was cool. But Christmas now is a perversion of that spirit and his actions. It is an emphasis on his birth rather than how he lived his life. It is a Roman usurpation of Mithra's Day. Old Saint Nick? Christmas Trees?? Fevered Consumerism??? My interpretation of Jesus's life, words, and actions doesn't see Christmas as what he'd want for people. He'd want people to give a damn about people. Not just the people we know, but the people we don't. The people on the bottom of society. He'd want us to live authentic lives. He lived the life that he wanted for others, except for that whole crucifixion thing. That was his cross to carry. That was his thing. Jesus loved everyone like they were his family. What a fucking cool guy he would have been to hang out with.

All this controversy over saying happy holidays instead of merry Christmas is stupid. Christmas is a federal holiday. I'll take a day off for it, no problem. I do feel that having it as a federal holiday is a violation of the 1st amendment. I also know that those in government don't give a rat's ass what I think. The real thing is that the corporates wants to make their money and so they will try to stay as neutral as possible and that pisses off the fundamentalists. The fricking fundamentalists.

I'll stop and think about all the cool revolutionary shit that Jesus did. I'll even wish a Merry Christmas to those who do celebrate it. I just don't want to feel compelled to celebrate it. Obligated. Talk about societal pressure. What do we call people that don't celebrate Christmas? Grinch. Scrooge. Pagan. Could I have some more secularism in government please? Just a bit more. Insert young English Dickensian voice.

PostSecret

I have to put in a plug for one of my favorite websites ever. It's called PostSecret. People make postcards of their inner thoughts and send it to this person that puts them up on the internet. The things that he posts up are so refreshingly honest. The anonymity of it allows for people to reveal what is behind the facade that we create when dealing with society. It knocks me on my ass, when I think about the fucked up shit that I have done to people in my life and then I read a postcard of someone that might have been on the receiving end of similiar actions. I check out this website weekly.

Life

I hope everyone had a Merry Mithra/Happy Solstice/Happy Kwanzaa/Happy Chanukah/Merry Christmas. I've become a Home Depot convert. AL and I painted the office Emerald Lake Green aka Crayola green. We read up on color therapy beforehand and apparently green is good for concentration and calm. We were going to paint it chili pepper red, but wisely decided against it. The paintjob was so-so, but we learned a lot from having done it. I also bought a 5 tiered stand alone shelf that I installed in the storage space we got. Then I hung up bike hooks from the ceiling and now there is a ton of space in our storage unit.

Since we were painting the room we also decided to rearrange it. I've ended my homebase business but I had major remnants of it in the office and this was a time of purging. The business was always a mental/emotional drain on me. I had too much familial karma with the business and it made me miserable. Teaching was a far better though less profitable choice for me. But money isn't everything.

Ever since the wedding things have been pretty crazy and hectic. Teaching is...all consuming. Then throw credentialling classes on top of that. AL and I haven't really had time to just relax and focus on us. This break has been great because it was the first time that AL didn't go back east for the holidays. We just chilled out together. This time together has really made me feel adult and grown up. It's fricking weird. I've moved into a different stage of my life and I can imagine our future together. I was talking with my older friend John and he clued me in to a sobering realization that he had made. He was slowly seeing the generation above him pass away and he was slowly moving towards being the elder in the extended family. What a strange time that will be when I am the oldest generation. My life has always been about youth and being young. This adulthood thing really gives you a sense of mortality.

Hindus believe in 4 stages of life. I am now in the Grihastha (householder) stage. Erik Erikson talked about 8 psychosocial stages of life. According to that, I'm in the young adulthood stage. It's a trip to see one's life as just playing out this formula. I wonder about my ancestors 10 generations back. Did we have ways of thinking in common? Am I trodding in the steps of my ancestors? Did I have an ancestor that was down with the Dao? Was he or she a teacher? Did they oppose the patriarchy and stifling aspects of Chinese culture? Apparently my grandfather was a real hard ass and this is probably where my father gets it from. My brother has also taken on this mentality. How many generations back does this violent angry energy go? Who was the guy or girl that helped to make the following generations mental? Can that transmitted energy end with me and my generation? Can I live a free life?

Funniest search that turned up my blog

So someone in Finland was looking for "Sex rubber clothes" and my blog came up in a search. Funny Finns. Weird though that my blog came up.

Day 113: The Praxis of Pedagogy

I started off Friday with a community building exercise. I had students pull popsicle sticks to create pairs. Then I had students get into those pairs and for the next 7-10 minutes I told them to find out everything that they had in common with their partner. When the time expired I had them circle up and they shared the stuff that they had in common with their partners. After everyone had gone, I asked them questions about the exercise and how they liked finding things in common with their partner. Everyone seemed to enjoy it and wanted to do more of it. I enjoy community building activities too and I think I need to do more of it. Creating a low affective filter (fancy teacher talk for making everyone feel comfortable) is really important when teaching, especially with the kids that I'm working with. If it's one thing that I've learned working with urban youth it's that rapport is everything. If you don't have a relationship with the kids then you can't get shit from them. They won't do shit if they don't think they can trust you. And if you can't control a classroom they won't respect you. The hazing that I went through when I first started... It's like the kids are trying to see if you will stick around when they give you shit. If you do, then some trust gets built.

After the community building exercise, I gave an oral quiz on metacognition. I went around and called on students and asked for a question from one of the 3 elements. It's a serious problem when a kid can't even give me one meta-cognitive question and we've been discussing it for a while. Thankfully, there were more kids that could give me a question then not. Still, this is going to be the foundation of my teaching so I better find more ways to get them to learn metacognitive questions. I dropped the ball on flashcards and so when I get back from break I'm going to make them create flashcards. Then we are going to drill for 3-5 minutes everyday until they know it. I had told them they were going to have a quiz on it and most were happy that I decided not to. They had checked out already and giving a test on Friday would have set myself and them up for failure. It's hard enough to get kids to study for stuff, but a day before a 2 week break...forgetaboutit!

So now I'm on break and still have to finish up a bunch of work for credentialling classes. The problem is that I'm burned out. I'm totally burned out with university and all the classes I'm taking. That on top of being a new high school social studies teacher. This break will hopefully charge up my batteries so that I'll be good to go again.

Day 112: The Praxis of Pedagogy

Good health and happiness to you. For what it's worth, I offer you blessings. How corny is that? Blessings for everyone! Even the terrorists. Terrorists get different blessings, but still a blessing. They get the Jackie Chan blessing to one day sit down and have a drink of tea together. Peace.

Chinese love stories of morality. In Japan Lisa Simpson is how they sell the show. In the US it's Bart and Homer. Lisa is a fascinating character. A child genius surrounded by kitschy Americana. I bet much of the world feels like that. But no one goes off like the French. Bless them for freaking out too. They would know about cultural imperialism. They got that universalist cultural attitude too. Nationalism and the French Revolution anyone. The French empire. I learned French in middle school. What the fuck does a Chinese kid living in the Bay need French for? Give me an Asian language or Spanish or Portuguese. I think French hating Americans are secretly jealous that French does sound so cool. I admit it. The shit is smooth. Like the Merovingian in the Matrix that loves to swear in French cause it's like wiping his ass with silk.

So today I read Disposable People with my first period class. I just read it to them and they followed along. In 2nd and 3rd I read "The Second Coming" by WB Yeats. This was the poem that Chinua Achebe got the name for his book "Things Fall Apart." I got every kid in the class to interpret something in that poem. I just asked them the right questions. It fucking rocked. I stressed to them that I wanted them to decode things. Break it down. Be in on the code the secret. The 411. Then I had them draw me a picture of how they imaged the poem. Visualize the poem. I'm trying to get to the other types of intelligences. I would have hated that shit in school. I hated arts and craft and drawing and all that shit. But it was no doubt enrichening for the sheer and simple fact that I knew I could never make a living doing arts and craft. It's not my gig. I'm going to have to bring in the Book on CD of Things Fall Apart so that I'm not reading all the time. I don't know how to pronounce those African names. Seriously. It's some hard shit. I know I'm mangling it.

After doing that shit, I put up a transparency that I made of the 3 elements and various questions. Then I paired students up and had them group the metacognition questions onto a piece of paper that they had folded up into 3 sections. At the end of class, I went over the questions and grouped it with them. I also told them there was going to be a test on metacognition tomorrow. But I don't think I'll give it to them. I think postponing it will be good for me and them. Why give myself more to grade over break and I'll give them more time to learn it later. Plus telling them that there was going to be a test will have forced some to study, so at least they'll get it.

Good health and happiness to you.

Day 110-111: The Praxis of Pedagogy

So on Tuesday I had the psychosocial test in all my classes. I started off with letting kids study for 10 minutes. I know that studying for 10 minutes isn't really going to help them but it made them feel better so whatever. After test I gave out a reading on pros and cons of the death penalty. After they read it, I had a seminar with them on it. First period was dead. 2nd period better and 3rd period was the most active. One thing that I did differently from 1st to 2nd was hand out the reading right after the test. In 1st period I didn't until they all finished. It's the little things like that to make the classes go faster. But right after tests they have just flushed their brains of knowledge. Some more than others but anyways. I think those are the perfect time for seminars. Gets them talking. But classes aren't open to each other yet. People still feel nervous speaking up. There so much in the details. Coordinating a classroom full of people. When done properly it's an orchestration. When done poorly... Lord of the Flies. I'm not fucking kidding. Kids are interesting. The kids I work with are physically bigger than me, but they are just kids. Thinking about Erikson, adolescents are now developing as a result of what they do and not what is done to them. What a challenge. The emotional development. Adolescents are just developing other relationships in a much more physical and emotional way. I've had my heart broken once by a girl and that rocked me. I mean I was out of control heartbroken. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't eat. Pathetic really. I never wanted to be hurt like that by a person ever again, but the quality of my life is better for having experienced it. I remember having felt like a jack-o-lantern. Like someone had cut the top off my heart and dug the insides out and put the top back on. Just empty inside. But you heal and refill the tank and look for alternative energy sources that won't deplete you and destroy the environment around you. How's that for a lot of metaphors. My relationship with my wife is the most healthy relationship I've ever had. It's ridiculously good on a physical, mental, and emotional level. But they aren't going through that. They are white belts. I'm just got my black, not even close to the 3rd degree.

It would be interesting to create some sort of ritual thing in my class. Some representation like a belt in martial arts. Some way to signify having achieved mentally. Students could go up in rank. However, I wouldn't want to create an environment where those that felt bad academically felt worse. Perhaps a rank through effort. I don't know I'll think of it. Thinking about Erikson and rites of passage is interesting. Joseph Campbell lamented about the lack of rites of passage in America. Getting trashed and puking when you turn 21 just doesn't seem quite so cool. I can get trashed!!!! Now I'm a man!!!! YEEEAAAAHHH!!!

So today was Meta and Journalism. In Meta, we read with them the philosophic statement from our school. The philosophy is in 3 paragraphs. The first paragraph states the problem of the haves vs. the have-nots. The second states the symptoms of this problems in innercity America. The 3rd paragraph states what the school is trying to do to address those problems. I read the whole thing with them and then had them fold a piece of paper into 3. Then they drew or wrote what each paragraph was about. However, the third one we also asked what their vision for the school was. After they did this we shared. Then in the remaining time we talked about community and decided on a community service project.

In Journalism, Jeremy and I laid out what students needed to do and then we told them that they would work in their departments and we would meet up at the beginning of the 2nd hour. It was a productive session but it has to move beyond the planning sessions. Only 2 writers out of 6 turned in anything. Our production crew have things going. It's the writers that don't have anything. In the beginning of the 2nd hour we decided that students would try to get businesses to contribute $10 or buy a business card ad space for $10. We also scaled down production run to 100. That may still be ambitious. We'll see how everything goes. I don't think students realize how fast the production date is going to come up on them. Whatever the case, this is turning out to be a fun class.

Day 109: The Praxis of Pedagogy

Oh my God! Here I am again. It's 4:00 in the morning and I have no business being up. I thought I had kicked this early morning wakeup habit but here I am again. Part of the reason I went to bed so early last night was because I'm fighting off an illness. My wife has been sick all weekend and I've been teetering on the brink of full blown illin'. I know exactly what's going to happen too. I'm going to make it to the winter break and then just get laid out. That's the way it goes. My body just has enough gas to get me to the break and then it's over. It's a shitty way to start the break. That's the thing with being a teacher that they don't tell you about. Illness. Kids are vectors. All they do is carry disease from place to place with their poor hygiene habits. When I first started teaching at the elementary school level I would get crazy sick. Little kids are even dirtier and will get you even sicker. But apparently after a few years of getting crazy sick your body adjusts and you don't get sick that often. However, I'm starting to question that considering my wife has been teaching for like 7 years and is still getting sick.

Anyways, in my classes yesterday I started off with a short SSR and then I counted students off 1 & 2 and broke them into groups. In these groups, I handed out the study questions for the test and had them work together to come up with the answers.

While they were doing that I called students up and gave out their student ID numbers. I posted a list of grades with student ID numbers in the back of the class so students can check their grades on a regular basis. That is going to be one of my goals this quarter. Last quarter, I really wanted to get discipline down and I feel that I got that going. Knock on wood. This quarter I need to work on keeping up with grading shit. I hate grading. It's a pain in the ass. My least favorite part of the job without a doubt. But putting things off doesn't help me or the students, so I need to do a better job with that. I don't have many assignments so far so most students had really good grades. One student that had an A commented that he had never seen his grade at an A before. Sad. Hopefully seeing their grade on a more consistent basis will provide more motivation to do things to raise up their grades or keep them good. Hopefully.

While they were coming up with answers for the study questions I also collected their meta-cognitive plan of action. Meta-cognition as I'm teaching it has 3 elements. A before, during and after. I assigned over the weekend the before part. This homework assignment was also points on their test. So it was a homework assignment slash take home test. Sadly, I only got about half of the assignments even when I gave them by the end of the day to turn it in. Their homework/take home test points for today is to do the during part of meta-cognition. On the test I'll have the after part of meta-cognition. This is not a hard assignment. There are basically about 5 questions for each element. 5 questions about their own thinking. All they have to do is write down what they are thinking. Not even an essay. I was accepting short answers. Shit I was accepting pretty much anything. Turn something in.

So after about 20-25 minutes of group studying we played the rock-paper-scissors game in teams. I told classes that whatever team that won would get extra credit points. My 1st and 2nd period classes tied but in the 3rd period class one team got slaughtered. We'll see how meta-cognition works for them. I'm going to make this another goal in my class and have them do meta-cognition stuff for every test.

So we have a gang problem in my school. I work at an inner city urban school so it's not surprising. Nortenos vs. Surenos. But they aren't the problem. There is another group of kids that have started their own gang. This new gang is composed of the outcastes in the school. This gang worries me more than the other gangs. A lot of kids in the Nortenos and the Surenos are trying to get out of gangs. They deal with real daily violence. They come to my school because we have a zero tolerance fight policy and they feel safe there. This new gang has a bunch of kids that need to prove themselves. A lot of kids that don't deal with the daily violence that the real gang members deal with. Plus, talking with the school counselor and my own general observations tells me that these kids are brimming with anger. 2 words pop into my mind. Can you guess them? Trenchcoat mafia. But I doubt that most of those kids will be coming back next year so hopefully we can break up this little group.

Day 106-108: The Praxis of Pedagogy

On Wednesday, I had meta and journalism with Jeremy. Not a single kid did the homework assignment. The assignment was to get all the staff members to sign their names on a treasure hunt. 10 staff members. An entire week. More than half the students are taking the class again. What the fuck??? Talk about fucking frustrating. The task really doesn't consume much brain power. You nicely ask a teacher to sign. Anyways, after that we broke students up into pairs and had them come up with definitions for community. Then we took the definition and synthesized it to make one definition. After this we had students make a list of the good and bad things about their community. 5 minutes later we talked about the list and then talked about how people outside of their community viewed it. We didn't get to finish this because we had this great guest speaker come in and talk about the prison industrial complex. She is part of an organization called "Books not bars" that is trying to shut down the CYA. I've seen her presentation before and it's always good. At first the kids weren't really receptive but then she soon gets them into it. It is an incredibly disturbing fact that the state of california spends more on prison inmates than on educating kids. It's just a clear example of profit before justice.

In Journalism, our student editor had kids do a deadline project so they would get the feel of a deadline. Too bad homework doesn' t have the same effect. Next, we had students decide on the size of the zine, and after we told them about the various departments they chose 3 jobs in the zine they wanted. They really seem to be into this project but I just hope they follow through with it. It's great having a student editor cause she has far more invested into it then Jeremy or me. Our idea is to really have it student led with jeremy and I playing consulting roles. We provide a structure and a wider outlook, they produce the product. In my opinion, this is one of the ideals of education. As Bruce Lee would say, "It is like a finger pointing to the moon. don't concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory."

On Thursday, I started off 1st period with a read along to the book "Disposable People." The kids were blown away to find out that there was modern slavery. As we finished this up, I had one of the mentor teachers from my credentialling class come in and observe me first period. It was totally unexpected and totally sucked shit. Getting observed makes me really nervous. Then when I tried to organize the students into 2 concentric circles, they were totally lost. In the concentric circles, I had outside student tell inside students and vice versa things about Erik Erikson and the psychosocial stages of development. The silence was deafening. To make matters worse, when I moved to the next task I totally couldn't find the handouts that I had copied. This had to have gone on for a good 2 or 3 minutes. You know when you have a mini-panic attack that starts in the middle of your chest and you're like "Shit, fuck, shit, fuck, shit!!!" Luckily, I found the work and a crisis was abated. The handout was on Meta-Cognition and it's elements. I want them to think of doing things with a plan of action. In order to explain the plan of action I related it to trying to pick up on a girl that you like. You got to have a plan of action before you approach the girl. Then, when you are executing the plan you have to constantly evaluate the plan. How am I doing? Is what I'm saying to her working. After I laid out my pickup scenario, I would lay out how to make a plan of action for learning information to take a test. 1st period ended on this.

In 2nd and 3rd period, I started read along with "The Jungle Commission" by Jomo Kenyatta. It's this great allegory about colonialism. At first the kids didn't understand it. But then I started to break things down with them and they started to get it. I'm getting better at providing students the space to make the necessary mental connections, but I still sometimes give them too much information. The story of European colonialism in Africa is much the same as European colonialism in North and South America. Native people getting fucked over big time. My 3rd period class rocks. What a great bunch. They get into the activities and they are eager to answer questions. I even got one of the tough gang member kids to be into things. He's a good kid and one of the things I did was to acknowledge that from the beginning and agree/praise the statements he would make. Now he volunteers to speak up and show his intelligence. It fucking rocks.

Today...was Friday. I'm just happy for that. In all my classes, I started off with a "What's in your wallet" activity. I paired students up and they showed and explained to each other an object of importance that they carry with them. Then the pairs got up and introduced the other person and their objects. I think it will be really important and will pay off in the long run to do these community building activities and games every Friday. Anyways, after that I finished up talking about meta-cognition and evaluating your plan of action. Using the previous partner, I had students come up with 8 good questions on psychosocial development that I would use on the test. I told them that if I used their question on the test I would give them extra credit. I assigned them homework to come up with a plan of action for getting an A on the test. I told them that on Monday their homework would be to wrute up the monitoring and maintaining their plan of action. Finally, on Tuesday I would have the evaluation of their plan on the test. I also told them the homework wasn't normal homework but really a takehome part of the test. Doing the homework would actually give them points on the test. I also gave students 3 notecards to make flashcards on the 3 elements to meta-cognition. So they will be using meta-cognition to learn about meta-cognition and psychosocial development. I love it! It's delicious.

Day 105: The Praxis of Pedagogy

I have no idea what I'm doing up this early. This is the second time in a row where I've gone to bed early and woken up early. I hope this isn't a start of a disturbing trend. I've ALWAYS been a night person. I don't want to become one of those...gasp...morning people. They are all weird freaks that are far too peppy in the morning. I've always secretly...ok not so secretly hated morning people. My wife is a morning person and yet I still married her. However, she's learned not to talk to me too much in the morning. She only asks questions I can grunt no or grunt yes to. Anyways, today I'm totally up.

Ok. So yesterday I started off with journal writes. I asked students to think about their school experience and tell me study skills that they learned that worked and didn't work for them. Then I asked them to tell me about a project or time in school where they were successful and what did they do that made that so successful. Finally, I asked what study skills could they apply to school right now to make themselves more successful. After they wrote I asked for people to talk about what they wrote. It was sad to hear some students that feel they have never had a successful time or project in school. This is the situation that I'm facing. This journal write was to be the intro to talking to them about meta-cognition. However, I didn't get to that cause I needed to finish up psychosocial development. I did total physical response and had them stand up if they agreed with the answer. I think I'll have to warm up to this one cause some students just sat there cause they didn't want to do anything so I don't know if they don't know the answer or are just lazy. Anyways, they seemed to be into the adolescent phase especially when I was talking about rites of passage. I focused on the particular rite of passage of turning 21. Everywhere you go people buy you drinks and you drink to excess. And when you're on the corner puking your brains out people just say, "oh he's turned 21, it's ok." Strange. Class ended relatively perfectly when I finished the last stage. The classes seem to be doing ok. Discipline doesn't seem to be a problem. Now getting work done...

Day 104: The Praxis of Pedagogy

On Monday I started off all the classes with SSR. While it's been recommended that I read with the students during this time, I used the time to do some basic prep work. I got 5 classes that I have to prep for with no prep time in school so I gotta do it when I can. That means afterschool and sometimes during school. Sometimes I feel like I've been put into a situation that is setting me up for failure. We have a staff of 8 teachers and half of us are new teachers. People are overwhelmed and if we keep this up we will be burned out soon. To help matters I listen to the wise words of a staff member that has been there 30 years. "Drink heavily!" she said.

After SSR, I had students write on a piece of paper who the most important people were in their lives from birth to 18 months, 18 months to 3 years, 3 years to 5 years, 6-12 years, and now. Next, they wrote about what their lives were like (were they happy or sad, what was important to them, and what memory were they most proud of) during those time periods. Then I paired them up and had them share with their partner what they wrote. I'm really trying to do a lot more paired work and student to student interaction this quarter. After they shared with each other I called on people to share with the class. I got a lot of good answers and they really wanted to share the moments they were most proud of. I ask a lot of personal questions, but they put it out there. It's pretty cool. This was my intro into Erik Erikson and psychosocial development. The reason that I want them to study Erikson is that I want them to understand that they are in a stage of development right now. What they do now affects their future and they are still growing. In relation to history and multicultural literature, I want to be able to analyze people in history and characters in books using some basic psychology. If they learn that people act in certain ways because of past social experiences, then perhaps history and characters in books will make more sense. They really seemed to be into this. When I was their age, I found it incredibly interesting how humans worked. The idea that there was some explanation as to why life was so crazy helped me out a lot. Classes ended mostly around play age 3-5.

Day 102-103 Praxis of Pedagogy

Thursday was the first day of regular school. I totally wasn't ready. Didn't have my attendance sheet. Fucking ridiculous. Monday and Tuesday I spent scheduling my CTM into classes and meeting with their parents. 3 hr plus meetings. Bureaucratic paper nightmare. Doing all the shit to get ready. Wednesday after school I had to go to credentialling classes.

So in all my classes I started off with a talking about classroom norms and expectations. There are some kids that I am concerned about behavior/discipline wise. 2 kids we had in for staff meeting. One of the kids I finally recognized what the look was on his face at staff meeting. Contempt. He seems to have a general contempt for everyone including his mother. If he becomes a problem, I'll have to call him on that. After the classroom norms, I had them do "I am" poems. Then I paired them up and they read their poems to their partner. Finally, I had volunteers get up and read their poems. All 3 classes ended with me explaining meta-cognition and how that is going to be a part of how classes are taught. I'm really going to try and get kids to think about their thinking. That will really fuck with their heads.

On Friday it was cool cause all 3 of my classes got to see performances of the "Theatre of the Oppressed." It's this cool organization that performs a piece about military recruiters. The first time around they perform the entire sketch. The second time around, students can call freeze and then add a character or replace a character and interact with the scene. This helps students problem solve and come up with alternative endings to the scene. I was impressed with some of the interventions and scene replacements. The troupe was very cool and the students really seemed to enjoy it. It really made my Friday a million times easier too. At the end of the day, I hand wrote report cards. We have easy grade pro and we're going to have everyone using it this quarter, so no more of this stupid handwritten shit ever again. Yippee!!!!

Day 101: The Praxis of Pedagogy

Ok. Today was the first day of the new quarter. It was Wednesday classes. I'm team teaching Meta and Journalism with Jeremy. It didn't go badly. In meta we played an intro game where they had to take some amount of toilet paper. However much they wanted. We said nothing. Then, for however many squares they had, they had to come up with something nice about themselves. Next, we paired them up by counting out numbers and finding their matching numbers. They introduced themselves to each other and said the nice things about themselves to the person. After 5 minutes we had them get up and introduce each other and tell one thing about the other person. It was pretty cool working with Jeremy. Like Voltron, together we have better pedagogy. More directed thought and creativity is given to it. Anyways, next I read out the "What is Meta" sheet and gave out the homework.

Journalism actually went really well. I'm kind of excited about this class. The kids seemed to be into the journalism. Our first publish date is January 18, 2006. They decided on the name Teen Xpress. A zine written by teens for teens. Jeremy envision ourselves as consultants and facilitators while they will be producing the product. We have one student that is going to be our student editor. She will be doing the first round of correcting papers and enforcing deadlines. So sweet. We will be doing the final round.

I'm also having my CTM do community service. They want to feed the homeless in Oakland. We are doing a canned food drive and bake sales to donate to charity. 2 of my CTM that have the most hours took the lead on this one. I'm giving them hours off but they wanted to take the lead on this before I even mentioned hours off. Pretty cool.

I realized today that they are still kids and they want to have fun. And fuck I want to have fun too. I have this idea for a battle CTM. Kind of like the Iron Chef style thing. Our school is ridiculously dirty. We could have a CTM battle 4th period or Wednesday. Whoever's CTM can gather the most trash within a time frame gets a prize. I was thinking about VIP privileges. So VIP privileges would mean they could cut to the front of the line at lunch or something. Something. But I'll throw it out there and see anyone bites.

School got fucking broke into again. 3rd time now since I've been there. I came in on Sunday to set up some computers and the front gate was wide open and unlocked. Then when we went to school today, my coworker, Betsy found out that her computer had been stolen. There must be a special place in Dante's hell for people like this. Or their karma is going to have them come back as a dung beetle or something. Whatever the case may be, this is totally fucked up and unacceptable to me. I feel like we're going to have to boobytrap the place or something.

I'm fucking stressing the fuck out. I'm coming to the end of the semester at my teaching credential classes and I haven't turned in a bunch of work. I feel like one of my students. Scratch that. Most of them aren't working a full time job that is as taxing as teaching. When they are, I'll cut them a whole lot more breaks. Shit cut them a ton of breaks now. But I'm also nervous cause I'm going to be teaching a multicultural literature class that I have no familiarity with. Then for my Wednesday classes I'm going to be teaching Metamorphosis again and a journalism class. The meta class has to be better than the meta class last year. I'm fucking praying that it is, but then again it could only get better. The journalism... I didn't really want to teach it but I had to come up with a second class after I thought film appreciation was on lock. Then I found out that I had to teach meta and so no film appreciation. I got stuck with journalism with my buddy jeremy cause we got a local paper that is willing to print some student articles so then I'm doing that. So now I'm teaching 3 classes that I don't really want to teach and 2 world cultures classes that I don't have the materials that I need to properly teach them. Teeefuckingrific!!! This is fucking ridiculous.

I'm starting to feel real down and overwhelmed. This is a fucking hard job. All that talk about cushy hours and long vacation time is a big load of shit. I'm at school after the time I get paid. I come home and try to come up with shit to do. On weekends I gotta grade and do more lesson planning and work on my credential. When school is going I gotta be on it. You can't just zone out when there is a roomful of kids staring at you. On top of that, the pay is shitty. I read somewhere that most people quit teaching after the 1st year. I'm really starting to understand why. These robberies have gotten me down too, cause nothing is going to happen. We get robbed and so it goes. The cops ain't doing shit and now the cops will charge you money if they come and check on an alarm. The Fucking cops charge. Protect and serve my ass. They get funded better and paid more. Fucking come and check if my school is getting robbed cause if I can do my job then you'll have less work. It's 2:00AM in the fucking morning. I can't sleep. I've been up doing the last of the grading. I'm tired, pissed, angry, frustrated, and overwhelmed.

I don't like getting robbed. This isn't fair. This isn't just. This isn't right. I work in a public school but I've been to other public schools and there isn't equity. The high school that I went to is vastly different from the one that I'm teaching at now. In almost every fucking way. Granted I'm teaching at an innercity urban high school. But the structural and institutional racism and classism in the American public school system infuriates me. Then to meet and talk to people that think that things are fair and just and that everyone needs to just pick themselves up is just galling. I chat online sometimes and the racist idiots that I meet are just astounding. And these are people with the money to have computers.

But I guess I'm whining. This is reality. This is what I signed up for and my ideals and values of social justice aren't shit unless I'm willing to be in the struggle. I want to be at the school I'm teaching at, but it's just fucking hard. The environment can really pull you down. I suppose I can use this to help me sympathize with my students' plight.

On Wednesday, Allison and I went on a Peace walk. It was a 5 mile walk with Native Americans and Buddhist monks and we did a tour of shellmounds. At each desecrated shellmound (which is about everyone of them) we would stop, make a circle, and talk about the shellmound and do a little moment of silence or prayer for the area. One Euro archaeologist of the early 1900 estimated that there were over 400 shellmounds in the Bay Area. Natives say there were far more than that. Whatever the case may be, it's some sad fucked up shit. To have your culture and history systematically erased from existence. The Ohlone are not federally recognized by the US gov't. So if they don't exist, then nothing bad is happening to them. Their gravesites are not recognized as gravesites. Could you imagine the US gov't digging up a cemetery, sticking the bones into garbage bags and telling the relatives to come and pick them up? Would never happen.

BTW, those Buddhist monks could fucking walk their asses off. They kept a pretty mean pace and I was on the short walk. They walked beating this prayer drum and one guy had a flag. The shellmound walks were about 17 miles a day and I was on the 4 mile day. Fuck man 17 miles is far. Shit 4 miles was far. Cause then we were 4 miles from where we started and we had to get back. So we walked back. But walking in a group makes walking a whole lot easier.

It was a good thing for me to do because I was aware of the purpose and it's something that forces me to reflect upon it. Walking as a meditation. Conscious zen walking. Walking with Ohlone to be witnesses to their lives and history. Walking for peace to try and change the zeitgeist. Now that I reflect it sounds much better. When I was doing it, my focus was oftentimes more on my own personal discomfort. My feet hurt and I was tired. I'm such a whiner.

On Monday, Jeremy and I went into school and worked on the computer lab. The computer lab situation in our school is... non-existent. So we went in there and sawed off parts of the table to clear up space in the back. Just creating more space made things 100% better. In the past there was cardboard on the back window. We removed that to give the place more life. There is a counselor that works outta that room and she said that she's going to get a couch and curtains and now she's got space to do all that. Jeremy wanted to go in and do all this work but I focused him into working on just the one thing. It was a good thing too cause after we were all done and cleaned up, it was time for us to go.

After that, I went to do teacher observations. It was here that I realized how fucked up my school situation is. There is this stuff called "History alive" by the teachers' curriculum institute. It's all the stuff to help me teach the standards. Help me teach history. Overheads, games, writeups, etc. My friend John had mentioned it, but I didn't really get it until I went to do the observations. This history alive shit provides me with everything that I need to teach history. Fancy fucking that. Now I'm not saying that I'll just take this shit and not ever teach again. But I won't have to be reinventing the wheel constantly. I can have a structure and work around it. Right now, some of my biggest problems are the kids aren't reading the text or turning in homework. How the fuck am I supposed to get information across to the students? When I lecture I get feedback from the kids that they don't want so much lecture. Ok I hear that. But how am I going to get information across to them. I can have interactive games etc etc whatever. But I need to have information to go along with it. It's fucking driving me crazy. I'm trying to come up with shit to teach for 3 different classes. 2 of the classes this last quarter I never taught before. I was having trouble knowing all the info for students. I know my history but I don't know everything. I know. It's true. I said it. I don't know everything.

I would love to radically change my history class and teach history from the present backwards. I wonder if they would allow me to do that. I have to hit these things called standards... but come on. As interesting as the Phoenicians are, I could go my whole life and never know about them and nothing would radically change. It would be so much easier to hook kids into history if I could hook them into something contemporary to their lives. Hey want to know why the US is in Iraq? Want to know why India and Pakistan could drop nukes on each other over Jammu and Kashmir? Want to know why Hugo Chavez is calling Bush an asshole? Then I could break up the world into continents and focus on that. Teach world history that way. Fuck it I'm going to try it. I'm gonna call up Jeff and get his ok on it and try it that ways. I've always wanted to do it that way. We can't understand the present without understanding the past. But we also can't understand things unless we understand the present we are in. Wow I'm so fucking zen. LOL

Day 97-100: The Praxis of Pedagogy

Wow, I had no idea that today was the 100th day since blogging. Sweet!!! Anyways, Tuesday and Thursday was just presentations. Not enough students turned in papers or did presentations. Lots just didn't do anything. This isn't good and I'm going to have to reassess how I did this cause this happened last time and I have to do things differently. I'm going to have to do a whole lot more guided practice to get the students to the point where they can do the work well. There is definitely a part of the situation where they weren't doing the work but there was also a part where I wasn't helping them out enough to get the work done. I've decided to take every Friday next quarter and devote it to how to research and write research papers. My tentative new warm up order is SSR w/ typing tutor on Monday, Journal Write on Tuesday, Read along on Thursday; and Community building activities, research tips, and students do a current event.

On Wednesday, we finished up Ghost Dog and I found out some crazy news about one of my CTM. We were watching Ghost Dog and at the end of the movie Ghost Dog gets shot. My CTM stepped out of the room and couldn't watch it. I went to see what was going on and he told me that his brother just got gunned down by robbers. So he had to leave the room to deal cause he couldn't handle watching the movie. This is the CTM that has been causing me lots of trouble and who I totally decided to just not even stress over. But when I heard this... well I'm not a heartless bastard. I talked to his mom and offered my condolences to her, but shit. That is some rough fucked up shit. His dad is gone and so is his brother. Real rough to have all that shit going on.

Today, I watched the Ali G show with students and we hung out. It was supposed to be the Native American heritage assembly but we had so many cancellations that we just decided to postpone it. I also played some chess with students. Also found out that the school got jacked for a bunch of laptops and a DVD player. Mother fuckers!!! And we're thinking that it was an inside job cause people got into classrooms that were locked with no sign of breakin. Fucked up mother fucking sacks of shit! So probably some disgruntled worker in the district that has a master key decided to rob my poor ass school. Crabs in a mother fucking barrel. Go fucking rob Piedmont or something. But that won't happen cause the cops will do something if rich people get robbed. Shit... I ain't even been at this a complete year and the school has been broken into twice. Refuckingdiculous.

Anyways, now I'm on 1 week break before the start of the new quarter. I'm gonna be teaching world cultures again but instead of Asian American history I got multicultural literature. Totally out of my area of expertise, but I'll have to do something. I don't read a lot of fiction and if it is fiction it's sci-fi.

Day 96: The Praxis of Pedagogy

Today was time for people to turn in their final papers and do their presentations. Unfortunately, most people didn't turn in their papers in my first and second period classes. Not surprisingly, there were also a bunch of students absent on the day of their presentation. Funny how that is. How unfortunate that they find themselves sick on that day. It's almost like they are... cutting. In my 1st period classes, one of my CTM didn't have his shit together at all. He was making up excuse after excuse after excuse. Saying shit like he couldn't download OpenOffice and the CD that I gave him didn't work. But I spoke to him and reminded him of the fact that he has been assigned hours afterschool and that he has had plenty of time to work on it afterschool. This kid has been rude to me and so I've essentially washed my hands of him. I mean I'm still talking to him and stuff but I'm not breaking my back and going out of my way to make sure he's done his work. So now our interactions are great. He's far more respectful to me now that I don't give a shit. And now that I don't give a shit, I find that dealing with him is far easier on my blood pressure.

My 2nd period didn't have their shit together at all. Nobody presented. So instead we talked about Native American Heritage Month and I showed them "Incident at Oglala" about Leonard Peltier. I also had 2 papers turned in. This has been my worst class all trimester by far.

3rd period was much better. I got more papers and I had students do presentations. Presentations were better and this is by far my favorite class.

Afterschool I had students making up hours and I took one of my CTM around to see where she is in her classes. I know she's not passing my class right now and she is also messing up in Bio. She will however pass her Algebra class. She should be a sophomore but she has 3 credits to her name. And those aren't credits in core classes. I have to remember that if she passes 1 class that is a huge improvement for her. That would be her first high school core class that she got credit for. While she has a WAAAAYYYS to go, that is an improvement and she has to start somewhere. Just expecting her to all of the sudden pass all her classes and be on track is unrealistic of me. She has a fucking crazy life. Mom's addicted to drugs and she lives with her grandma. She's come out of the closet and is dealing with that. Her skills... Anyways, I told her at the beginning of the quarter that I don't care if she dates girls. But if the girls get in the way of her doing her work, then she needs to stop fucking around with the girls. I also spoke to her girlfriend and told the girlfriend that she needs support. Here I am giving advice in a lesbian relationship. It's funny, but really no different from a hetero one. You still got to support and care for the other. While I'm sure there are specific things that come up that pertain only to lesbian relationships, I'm not dealing with that shit. Girl still needs to get her work done.

Day 95: The Praxis of Pedagogy

Yesterday I started off all my classes with a short SSR and then I changed their presentation schedules forward one day. On the last day of the quarter we are going to be celebrating native American heritage day with a presentation and stuff so no regular school on that day. After the SSR, I had them work on their projects.

I'm going to have to do a better job of presentations and papers next quarter. I really need to take days and lay out the steps needed for researching. The kids really don't know how and I didn't make that a priority like I said that I would. But it was hard cause I was teaching 2 new classes this year and having a CTM and starting my first full new year. Next quarter will be somewhat better cause I'm having two classes the same while only teaching one new one.

While students were working on their projects I took time out to talk with specific students and see where they are. I've been realizing that I've been taking my frustration and tiredness out on students. The more relaxed and mellow that I am, the better our interactions will be. I can be too hard on students sometimes. And a lot of the kids that I'm working with don't need to be yelled at anymore or have someone get on them. What they need is for someone to listen to them, talk to them, and take an interest in them. It's hard for me though, cause I want the students to do well and so I get on them to do stuff. But often that's not the best tactic to approach them. What matters the most is making a connection and being able to talk to someone in a real and caring way.

There are a lot of hurt kids I'm dealing with. The amount of casual violence in their everyday life eats away at their natural compassion. They all want to be good, but many truly don't know how. They lack consistent role models and their lives are hard. Then on top of this, the public education system in the US is a joke. The classroom in the basement of the school has been flooded recently cause of rain. We don't have a janitor. Windows are broken. Heaters are exposed. It's fucking criminal that the kids and the staff have to work in conditions like that. Public education is not equitable nor is it well funded. This country is still incredibly racist and classist. I guess it's better to spend $1 billion a day killing Iraqis and rebuilding that country as opposed to working on our own.

Day 94: The Praxis of Pedagogy

So we finished up "The Killing Fields" and I talked with the students a bit about the history behind it. I used an overhead and showed them where Cambodia was on a map and I talked a bit about the genocide. Some estimates are up to 3 million people died in a population of 7 million. Ridiculous. Then I had them count off to 7 and then I said that everyone that was a 1, 2, or 3 would be dead from the genocide. My one Cambodian student also volunteered information about it and said that there were Khmer Rouge in San Jose. Trip out! I didn't know that. But I guess why wouldn't they be. So to change things up after that, I talked the next movie Ghost Dog. I talked about Bushido and the way of the warrior. I explained to them a bit about samurai culture and how crazy those motherfuckers were. Committing seppuku isn't some it's-over-quick affair. You gotta disembowel yourself. I also mentioned that the Rza did the music for the movie. That helped to bring them in. But it's a great movie so they were into it.

I kicked a student in the face in Capoeira class today. The kid was talking shit to me and being generally disrespectful. When I said that I was going to play him capoeira he said that he was going to shine his shoes on me. Now this kid has been talking shit to me for a while. He's pissed his CTM off and his CTM is one of the nicest guys around. So I kicked him in the face. Not hard. Just a tap enough to wake him up. After that I knew he was going to come after me so I just waited for my time. Then when he went to kick me I just swept him off his feet. Then yelled at him to stop laying around and get up and play. I enjoyed doing it to him. That's part of the reason that I wanted to stop doing capoeira. It doesn't bring out the best side of me. But hell I'm teaching a martial art to people that don't want to learn it. I've loved capoeira and don't want to teach it to people that have really shitty attitudes about it. I've never wanted to teach capoeira, even to people that wanted to learn. My mestre told me one time that he would stop asking me to teach cause every time he did I quit. Capoeira has always been something that I just enjoyed doing. Something that I did cause I loved doing it. I just wanted to play not teach. Teaching it wasn't fun. Anyways, so then I have to come up with a class for Wednesday next quarter. Film Analysis has turned to Appreciation and I'm doing that class again. So now I got to come up with another class to teach.

Day 92 & 93: The Praxis of Pedagogy

In my 1st period on Monday I had a shortened SSR so that we could do a study test. I handed out the study guide and gave them time to answer questions. Then we played the Rock, Paper, Scissors game to two teams. I'm going to have to come up with better games and better ways of drilling info into students' heads. I got ideas... but fuck they are a pain to implement. I think that's one of the hardest things about teaching. Implementing things. There is always so much more to be doing. New and better things that I can try. They just take planning and practice. And there isn't enough time in the day. Coming up with shit for 3 classes is hard. I mean I could just come up with shit to have them do. Busy work shit. But I don't want to be a party to that. That's not why I got into teaching. But I realize that I got a long way to go and I'm not tripping too hard that I suck right now. I'm a rookie. Rookies always get growing pains. Eli Manning stunk it up last year in front of the entire US. This year he's balling. I don't think my learning curve is like that, but I can only get better.

In second period, we talked about revolution and change through violence. This in contrast to revolution through non-violence a la Gandhi and MLK. I know that white people liked MLK a whole lot better when the other side was a Malcolm X. Nothing makes things happen faster than violence. As much as I don't like GWB, there has been a ton of action and change in the Middle East as a result of him invading Afghanistan and Iraq. Syria out of Lebanon. Ghaddafi giving up his WMD ambitions. So we read about Emiliano Zapata and I talked about anarchism with them. I tried to talk about real anarchy and not the "Anarchy=chaos" propaganda. Zapata was influenced by anarchism and since he's Mexican I thuoght more students would relate. But anarchist anti-hierarchical, anti-vanguard elitist, and anti-oppressive thinking is intriguing to me.

In 3rd period, I handed out a reading about why Oriental is a bad word. We read it and I talked with them about what the reading meant. I took Cornell Notes at the same time. They were into this cause they teenagers always want to hear about the taboo stuff. The racist stuff.

In first period today we had the test. After the test, we talked about France and the riots going on there. I showed them a timeline from the BBC and we read it. The riots were actually somewhat timely considering my class. We were talking about the French Revolution and Islam. Students had an understanding (in widely varying degrees) of both subjects. I have an opinion about this that isn't so popular with some people. I think the riots are French karma for their history of imperialism. The muslims in France that are rioting are mostly from countries that France colonized. France has enriched their country through the plundering of other countries. This is a natural and karmic consequence of their actions. The US has racial problems cause the US had slaves, committed genocide on natives, stole land, etc etc. People shouldn't be shocked or surprised.

In second period we finished up talking about Anarchism and then I had them write about their personal philosophy. Bad choice on my part. They don't have a personal philosophy, but what a good time to start thinking about one. Then I read about the French riots with them. I need to do more current events shit. I should make Thursday a current events day. So maybe next quarter, Monday: SSR with typing tutor, Tuesday: Journal Write, Thursday: current events day, Friday: Student led discussions.

In third period we finished up Orientalism, then we read about derogatory Asian names, and finally we read a poem about being Asian American. The poem was written by Joyce Miyamoto but it could have been yesterday. We're coming to the end of school and kids are getting bogged down. I had signup sheets in all of my classes for presentations. But I think I'll have to change things cause we might not have a normal Friday cause of Native American Heritage Month celebration on the last Friday of the quarter.

Day 91: The Praxis of Pedagogy

In my first period class, we talked about when we should have a test and it was decided that we would have the test on Tuesday. Students felt that if they had it on Thursday that they wouldn't remember anything from the study day on Tuesday. After that, we talked about the Congress of Vienna and how European countries worked together to contain France. I related this to gang warfare and told students that if they can understand the dynamics of gang interaction then that would give them insight into world history and state interaction. I got a few gang members in my class so this actually draws them in. When I ask questions they intuitively know the answer. After I lectured on this, we finished up "The Corporation."

In my second period class, I gave students a timeline of Gandhi's life and talked a bit about what he did. I explained to them the caste system and Gandhi's reaction to it as well as how he defied the British imperialists and helped to drive them out of India. The man is an interesting guy and his story draws people in, especially when I describe satyagrahis that walk into clubs and beatings. To walk into violence without raising your hand against the other takes serious courage and resolve. I for one don't have that courage and resolve. I would hit the person and fight back physically and violently. I don't like getting hit and I'd rather be hitting back then just letting someone do it to me. Then we read some more of gandhi's words. But about halfway through the class I had to go on a field trip with my 3rd period. More than half of our small school went on this field trip so the principal just made it a minimum day. So classes went straight through till 1:00.

So the field trip was to see a Dia de los Muertos dance performance. We walked to it from school which took us about an hour after we broke up for lunch. It was pretty damn good. Short but good. Interesting to see the various styles of dance from different states in Mexico. Interesting way to respect the dead too. Very different from my Chinese background. Chinese will leave shit out for the dead but have no desire to hang around and meet up with any. I remember being in Taiwan during the hungry ghost festival. That is the day when all the ghosts come out and wander around the streets. Fucking Taipei was empty. There weren't very many cars out at all. Everyone was at home so that they wouldn't meet up with any ghosts in the street. It's a trip to have a city that is so bustling be so dead. It was actually really eerie.

Day 89 & 90: The Praxis of Pedagogy

So on Wednesday, I started off watching "The Killing Fields." Note to self: Never watch such a depressing movie at 8:40 in the morning. It was a heavy movie and the one Cambodian girl in my class was sitting up and paying attention to the movie. Normally she always looks completely bored and has her head down but she was drawn into this movie. I'll finish it next week.

For my Capoeira class, it was really small cause people were testing. So I took those kids and worked em good. Making them do the low Angola ground game stuff. It is starting to get cold and I'm wondering where we are going to do this class when the next trimester starts. I don't know if we'll even do this next semester.

So today I was feeling nauseous all day long. I felt faint and wanted to hurl on obnoxious students. I didn't do urban acting cause I passed out coming up with a lesson plan for my 3rd period observation. No time to plan for the urban acting. So after that I talked about Napoleon, the battle of Trafalgar, guerrilla warfare, and invading Russia. The kids were too young to have seen the Princess Bride. I said the reference that Vizzini says to Wesley, "You've fallen victim to the classic blunder! The first is never get involved in a land war in Asia. The second though slightly less well known is never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line!" Nothing. Nada. It's a meaningless quote when only you get it. Anyways... we looked at a map that showed the number of people Napoleon started off with and the number they came back with. I recall it being something like 442,000 and coming back with 28,000. Then there was a temperature chart that had the returning temperature something like -35 degrees Fahrenheit. Reeeeediculous. That's some fucked up weather. Then I tried to get the tv dvd working and had major technical difficulties. It wasn't until 3rd period that I figured out that the video input wasn't working anymore.

In second period, I had them list out all the various ways that one could make change. Then we talked about the components that made up the various ways. It was from here that I introduced change through non-violence or violence. In my opinion, each has its place. Hell the idea of a violent revolution is as American as... the Declaration of Independence. But before I got into violent revolution I talked about non-violent revolution and Gandhi. Then we started in on a reading about Satyagraha.

My 3rd period was what I was gearing up for. I was getting observed by a person from my credentialling school. Since we got about 5 days left of instruction...actually 4 since this class is going to the Dia De Los Muertos celebration, I wanted to start in on more history of Asian Americans. I think perhaps the most well known event was the Japanese internment. So I stuck with something that works. I did the lesson that I did last year for my multicultural studies class. It went over pretty well even though I felt nauseous the whole time. After I showed them the Executive Order then we went through and read bits and pieces that I thought were important. After that I went on to show more of "The Corporation." I ended in the last five minutes so I'll have to finish it up.

After class I spoke to her and she was pretty nice to me about the whole thing. Unfortunately, that's not what I was looking for. I was looking for her to give me some constructive criticism to make my teaching better. Today was also the last day to turn in missing work so I had a lot of students in my class at the end of school turning in missing work. I got a stack of papers that has to be at least an inch and a half thick. Did I ever mention I fucking hate grading?

Day 88: The Praxis of Pedagogy

Since my friend Jeremy was all demoralized I decided to ask the following journal question to my 1st and 2nd periods: Why don't students seem to care? What can be done to help make students participants in their own education? What can be done in the community? What can teachers do? How much of it is personal responsibility?

After I asked that question, I got into a discussion with both periods about what they wrote down. I summarized their thoughts on an overhead. Interesting stuff that I'll have to blog later about. Unfortunately, I left it at school. But it was an interesting discussion and it is good to hear from people. When they were writing their answer in the journal I walked around and noticed that were really into it. This was reflected in the discussion. I think next trimester I will have student led discussions on Friday. I firmly believe that they should have more control and say in their education and hopefully this will be a way to make that happen. If they are to be the future leaders then they must learn how to lead and be given chances to do so. After that I showed them all an overhead calendar of how much time we had left in the trimester. Not counting today we have 5 days left of instruction before presentations and finals week. Scary. Next I handed back contracts and had everyone write that they had till Thursday to turn in all their missing work and corrected tests. Nothing will be accepted after that.

In my first period, my anticipatory set was, "What is a Napoleon Complex?" One student answered something about power so I gave him a point for being the only one to try. So I explained the Napoleon complex or little man's syndrome or martinet. Whatever you want to call it. Then I tied that mentality in to people they know in life and finally to Napoleon and his coming to power in France. This got into Napoleon's downfall which got into the Peninsular War and guerrilla warfare. So I started to talk about guerilla warfare. Class ended on this.

In my second period, I broke people into groups and then had them write on all the various ways that change could be created with themselves, their school, their communities, their nation, and the world. Class ended on this.

My 3rd period I took my students to the Asian Art Museum. I told them before that if they embarrassed me that I would make it my life mission to make sure they never go on any field trip ever again. They behaved wonderfully. Most had never been to a museum before so just the fact that they were there was great. But I left them to wander around as I did the same.

Day 87: The Praxis of Pedagogy

So today was a makeup work day for the students. I printed up on easy grade pro the stuff that students were missing and I had a list that told what each assignment was. Then I let student get to work while I collected 1st draft presentations and wrote on contracts how they were doing. Nothing better than a kid that has a lot of missing work just fucking around during that time. But I guess that's what got them to that situation. Anyways, I'm really not looking forward to the grading. I have to grade all that shit that gets turned in. So I'm thinking that I'll put a deadline on all makeup work. The last week of school is the 14th so I think I'll give Thursday as the last day to turn in all missing work. Then I'll have ample time to grade without going completely insane. I'm blown away that there are only 3 weeks left in the quarter.

In not so good news, I just got off the phone with my buddy jeremy and he's thinking about quitting. He doesn't think that he has the temperment for the job and he can't put up with the disrespect. He's having a real hard time. This is completely different from anything he's ever done. He works too damn hard and internalizes things way too much. I kept telling him to slow down and that he's burning too bright and too fast.

Day 86: The Praxis of Pedagogy

Ok... so on Friday I postponed the auction till monday so that I could get some candy for the kids. I didn't want to give them slave chocolate so I went out today and bought some fair trade chocolate and fruit leather. 40 bucks!!! Fuckin expensive.

So anyways in all my classes we worked on storyboarding slides for the final presentation. It became very clear to me how important this was to do. They've never done something like this before and giving them a clear format on how to do this was very important. The biggest mistake that the kids made when making slides was that they wrote too much in the slides. It's funny cause so often they are told that they need to write in complete sentences and write more, now I'm telling them they are writing too much. So I made up 2 different slides, one with cue words and one with everything written out. I asked them which one would they rather view. They all preferred the one with the cue words. It makes the presentation far more interesting when you can see cue words and just listen to a person talk. Too many words and it's hard to concentrate on reading and listening. Anyways, my goals for next quarter are teaching how to research and cite sources, how to make a presentation, and how to make cornell notes. I just get so overwhelmed that it's hard.

After we did that for a while we watched more of the corporation while I stopped and explained certain parts. When I do this they seem to be far more interested in the video. This really is a TV world because they are far more interested and engaged watching a movie than anything else. Kids are reacting to the movie and talking back to it. Funny. It's hard though cause ideally they need to be able to interact with all kinds of mediums.

After school I had drinks with some of my coworkers. One of the new teachers I don't think is going to make it to next year. He gets punked out by the kids and some of the stuff he says I think is kinda racist. He doesn't try to meet the kids where they are at and just kind of has this negative attitude towards them. I just don't think that he's the right teacher for our population of students.

I got a Palm Treo 650. It was expensive, but I am now using it to organize my life. It is everything that I ever wanted and more. I feel very materialistic that such a gadget makes me so happy. But damn it's so damn cool. It's a PDA/phone/camera/camcorder/MP3 player. What more could a geek like me ask for??? I need to bring the birthday gift that I got for my friend Gina to her. I missed her birthday cause I fell asleep cause grading week/back to school/and credentialling classes were kicking my ass. Then I just never called her and it got to the point where i felt so bad that I didn't call her and go to her B-day party that I didn't know what to do. I'm a shitty shitty friend. I'll have to bite the bullet and just hope she forgives me. But I got her a book wedge light so hopefully that will make up for it.

Day 85: The Praxis of Pedagogy

Going to my credentialling classes always makes me really realize how bad my pedagogy is. I just don't do enough interactive activities. I'm not engaging students enough and there is a ton of things that I need to do better to get my skills better. Fuck fuck fuck.

So I changed the date of students turning in their 1st draft of their presentation. I realized that I need to show them how to use openoffice and how to make what I want. So I showed how to make a title page and a roadmap on the computer using the LCD projector and I had them draw out their presentations on pieces of white paper that I had them fold into fourths. As they were making it I came by and checked them. After that we watched "The Corporation" while I stopped every so often and commented on various parts of the film and what was happening. I did this in all the classses.

After school I got to talking with one of my more mature and intelligent students and he was giving me some suggestions about how I could teach students better. I asked him and he was kind enough to help me out. He took an incredible English class which really took his skills to a higher level and he said one of the most important things I should try to teach the kids is metacognitive strategies. Thinking about thinking. I was surprised to hear him say that of all things. Absolutely wonderful and right though. However, I've done metacognitive strategies. But I think I need to break things down even more. I am far too often presupposing that the students have skills that they should have and they don't. I am not meeting students where they are at. I am talking to them from where I think they should be.

Day 84: The Praxis of Pedagogy

On Tuesday I went to observe other teachers. I took the day off so I could get observations done for my credentialling classes. It was a good experience but I still felt like I was working. I would have rather been at work. I went to visit my fellow student and friend John at his school and it made me thankful in many ways to work where I work. I got a small school. My largest class is 20. He's dealing with 30 kids. Kids had cell phones out, they're putting on makeup, they're eating food, they're chatting quietly. I mean there were some engaged students and they were great. But having to deal with that many kids... it's ridiculous.

Conservatives are always saying that throwing money at the problem isn't going to make it better. I agree. What would make it better would be applying more money in the right areas. I think one of the biggest things is class size. There should be 1 teacher for every 20 students. Capped. That means hiring more teachers and that requires more money. One of the greatest injustices of the American education system is the fact that public school funding is tied to property taxes. It is just fucking wrong. Especially when rich people start pulling their children out of public schools and then satisfy their greedy self-interest of lowering property taxes in their cities. Lower taxes lower taxes. It's a rich person mantra. But the last thing America needs is more uneducated people, then people do things like vote for Bush. Anyways... enough of my ranting.

After visiting John I went to my old elementary school and observed my old friend Jody. She was teaching 1st grade now. I had forgotten how squirrelly 1st graders are. They have so much trouble just sitting still. But it was good to see her because I often find that elementary school teachers have better pedagogy. They have to. They are forced to be far more structured and organized because of who they are working with. Jody was doing a good job and she had some rough kids. Shit rough elementary school kids can sometimes be harder than high school kids. You can't get interact in the same way.

After Jody I went to visit Allison and did an observation of a history teacher next door to her. He was terrible. I had trouble staying awake. And this guy had been doing it for years. He had typed out shit on a transparency in paragraph form and then was covering part of the transparency and moving things down as he read and lectured from the transparency. The students were copying shit down almost verbatim from his writing. Why not just make a printout and hand it out to them??? He was lecturing on the Reformation and he was thoroughly unengaging. I mean I know I got kids that aren't doing shit in my class... but I feel that I'm not as boring as him. His homework assignments were questions out of the textbook. It was wild. Conveyor belt education. But it was good to see him cause even though he's been doing it as long as he has...he still doesn' t have skills. This is why a standardized test can't tell if a person can teach. You can have content knowledge but it doesn't mean you can teach it. Not to rip on teachers, but like in all professions there are good ones and bad ones. I mean I refuse to believe that all CEOs are good. ;)

So today was Film Analy...Appreciation. But actually I really broke down "The Matrix" today. I mean I was stopping and pausing and explaining references in the movie. I actually did some analysis. We talked about the sanskrit terms of maya and ahankara. I talked about the biblical references. The buddhist references. The martial arts references. I just can't watch Keanu Reeves though. I mean he's soooo bad. Then I handed out the take home test. Take home test. I mean the class isn't exactly rigorous. So I told them that I never call anyone stupid but if they fail my class then they were stupid. There is no reason whatsoever to fail my class. Unless you never show up it's damn near impossible. Hmmmm.... perhaps I shouldn't be blogging this... but it's fucking true. And for anyone reading... you know you take breaks at your work.

It was raining today so no capoeira class. I put on a movie and then called up various teacher credentialling programs so that we could send out our flyer to them. I made up a flyer to recruit volunteer teachers and prospective teachers. This would help take the work load off of all of the teachers while at the same time providing valuable field experience to prospective credential students. Ok... we want to exploit cheap labor for a good cause.

It was raining today

Day 83: The Praxis of Pedagogy

In all my classes after SSR, I gave a presentation on how to give presentations. I used OpenOffice Impress and talked about open source software, title pages, roadmaps, slides, and conclusions. I did a lot of briefs in college when I was doing International Relations and it was always fun for me. This was no different. It's the old drama geek in me.

Then in 1st period I finished up our discussion on income inequality and stuff. I made sure everyone took Cornell Notes and I made sure to go through the information and really help them interprete it better. I fail to realize sometimes that what seems glaringly apparent to me is not always so apparent. Kids have trouble looking at stats and extrapolating info from them. In my 2nd period, no one was able to remember what I talked about on Friday. So fucking heartbreaking. So I made them take Cornell Notes and we re-reviewed the information and I broke it down some more. Nobody fucking writes anything down. I did the same in 3rd period. I really want them to understand inequality and in particular the power of education to help decide the quality of their lives. But damn so hard cause so many students didn't do shit. But this talk on inequality is all part of a homework project that I'm going to assign next week. I haven't come up with the assignment in detail yet but it will have to do with recording their consumption of goods.

I'm going to do observations of other teachers tomorrow so I'm going to show "The Corporation" and leave a list of questions for the sub to give out. IMO, "The Corporation" is one of the best documentaries ever made. It's that good. Kids even liked it in Film analys...appreciation I mean.

Day 81 & 82: The Praxis of Pedagogy

On Thursday in all 3 of my classes I started off with Urban Acting. I had the students read a little pamphlet of what to do when dealing with the police. Then I had students get up and act things out. One was the cop and the other was just themself. Some of the results were pretty good and some were funny. But acting things out forces the kids to learn it cause they have to get up in front of people and do it. Plus it was just plain fun.

Then in my first period my native american co-worker, Bobby, came in and talked to the class about Christianity and loss of culture. This tied into "Things Fall Apart" and colonialism in North America. Interesting talk. He kinda veered off topic and started talking about Columbus but since it was recently Columbus Day that worked out.

In my 2nd period, we started to talk about Marxism and began to read the Communist Manifesto. This was a tie in to revolution cause we are starting a chapter on Revolution and Nationalism. Class ended on this but I realized that the Communist Manifesto was far too hard for them to understand. Shit it's hard for adults to understand.

In 3rd period we were supposed to have a speaker but they didn't show. So we kinda hung out and did Urban Acting and talking about due process and the law for the whole period. The speaker didn't show and didn't even call. Just a no show. That was pretty shitty.

On Friday, I wanted to talk to the students about inequality. I gave them a reading and some charts on inequality that I got from various sources. A lot of the stuff was about the median income levels for various levels of education and unemployment rates for various levels of education. While education is not a panacea... it's damn close. First period we didn't get to the data, but 2nd we did.

In 3rd period we had a speaker. A possibly soon to be daughter in law of one of my fellow teachers. She talked about her experience traveling through China. She gave a good talk but it was hilarious cause one of my students was totally trying to chat her up. Working his little game on her. I'd look at one of my male students and we would laugh in disbelieve. Now she was a white girl and I thought it was great cause everyone wants to go somewhere different from what they know. That's why I went to live in Denmark. Cause I've never lived somewhere that cold and white.

I'm fucking tired and stressed out. Credentialling courses along with teaching is wearing me out. I always have a stack of papers to grade. The paperwork is fucking nuts. The work and planning outside of school...and fuck I don't do enough of it. My coworker jeremy is totally stressing out and raging all the time. He's almost as green as it comes. He did a bit of teaching at the college level as a grad student but that isn't even close to being the same. So he doesn't even know what he doesn't know. I really feel for him though. Shit is hard at least I had some intro. Working with the elementary school kids was probably one of the best things I ever did. It really helped me with classroom management and all that stuff. Last year wasn't a good example cause I was coming in at the end of the semester at the last second. It was just ridiculous. This year is a lot better cause I get to plan things out better.

But I try to think of teaching like surfing. I want to be doing this for the rest of my life or at least for a large portion of it. I want to ride a longboard and just cruise on the wave. Short boards I could manuever better and tear things up more. The first year of teaching is the hardest. I don't want to burn too brightly in the beginning and burn out. I have to walk the line of working hard but also keeping my sanity. Watching Allison stress out over the kids made me not want to do that. But she's an internalizer. I don't internalize as much. I'm more of an externalizer. Shit... ain't me... it's you. Well to some extent cause I know that I have a waaaays to go with my pedagogy. Shit I can't even call it pedagogy at this point. Pedagogy implies art. I'm fingerpainting right now. But hey... I can only get better. If I go from 1% to 2% that is 100% better.

Day 80: The Praxis of Pedagogy

We finished up "The Corporation" today. We discussed it for a bit and then I assigned homework. Of the movies we've seen so far, which has been their favorite, what were the dominant themes and why did they like it. First homework I've given out so we'll see how many do it. I told them that they better do it cause it was a huge part of their grade. Then I gave them a reading on the hero's journey and used the example of the Matrix as the hero's journey. As much as possible, I tried to relate it to their own lives. Then we watched the beginning of the Matrix and I told them that I would show them little stuff in the movie. Neo meaning new but also an anagram for one. Mr. Andersen. Anderson. Andro son. Son of Man. Vaginal birth scene when Neo swallows the pill. All kinds of stuff in the movie.

In Capoeira there were only 5 students cause most students were taking this CELDT test. I really focused on those 5 students. Made them kick for a while.

Day 78 & 79: The Praxis of Pedagogy

So Monday 1st period I talked about the French Revolution. I have to coach them every single time to take Cornell Notes. Get out your Cornell Notes, write some shit down. But I told them about tipping the executioner back in the day so that he'd make a clean hit. But the guillotine made everything all scientific and shit. You could kill fast and clean. The big question that I think that you can learn from the French Revolution is what to do after you have the Revolution. People just went buck wild. Throwing off the king and then into a killing orgy. After talking about the French Revolution then I gave out the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and assigned them to read it and write a 1 1/2 pg. I know that it's an UN document but it was inspired by the Declaration of the Rights of Man and the US constitution. THose of course being inspired by all that Enlightenment shite. After that I gave them time to work on their subvertisement.

In second period, I had people get together in their chapter groups from "Disposable People" and they summarized that chapter. I did the jigsaw with "War is a racket" and this turned out just as well. So many didn't read the chapters they had to read. So it was people in groups copying notes off the person or two that did read the chapter. Then after 25 minutes I had them get back into their original groups and explain the chapters to their fellow students. We ended on this.

In third period, I put the test off to give them a study guide that I had made. I didn't do that on Friday even though I talked about answers. Then we went over the study guide and I gave them a notecard and told them they could write the answers on the notes but everything had to be 3 times. Then subvertising for them.

So today... in first period while they did a 1 pg journal write to the quote, "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong." (Gandhi) I checked homework. 3 people did it. 3. Three. 1-2-3. Out of 20. 15%. So I gave out a lot of fours on contracts and had a bunch of people bring it to me afterschool to get three hours back and only get one hour makeup. Then I wanted to discuss "Things Fall Apart" with them. Zero people finished it. 0. The goose egg. The great void. Nothingness. The essence of the Dao. Very hard to talk about when that happens. So I had them take notes while I explained things with limited student interaction. This is a fascinating story about Constantinian Christianity affecting native cultures. I'm having my friend and Native American office manager talk about Christianity and Native American cultures on Thursday. At the end I had them work on subvertisements.

In 2nd period, I had them work on "Disposable People" in groups and then on their subvertisement. Jigsaw never again. So you learn.

In 3rd period, I gave out the test and then worked on subvertisements. I have this one Asian American student that was complaining that my class was the only one that he was failing. His cousin was in the class and said that it was a shame that he was failing that class. She questioned how he could be related. I laughed hard at that. As did the class. I think he needed some social embarassment. He's always talking about it in class so he kind of got what he deserved. If you don't want people to know... don't bring it up out loud. I also got a list of students that want to go and see a ballet folklorico about the Dia De Los Muertos.

My CTM is getting too loose. But I have the situation now where students don't want to do hours with me cause they know that I'll make them work. They all want to go to other classes so they can fuck around. This is a good thing in my eyes. I want them to know that I'll make them work. They won't fail cause I don't have high expectations for them.

Day 77: The Praxis of Pedagogy

Yesterday was work on your final project day. It was made harder by the computers going on the fritz. We have a problem with the district, updates being sent and this program we got called deepfreeze. The program wipes out anything the student download and put on the computer but it also is wiping out the updates being sent. We have to change the update configuration. At least this is what we think is going on. But the symptom is that the computers are constantly restarting. Anyways, for the most part students were really good about actually doing work. This was also a time for me to get some rest and grade as many papers as I could. It has been a long week what with progress reports, back to school nights, and teacher credentialing classes.

So what was hard about the day was my CTM. I got this one student that I got into serious words with. The kid doesn't do shit. He's got incredibly and I do mean incredibly low skills and he's hyperactive. He also doesn't do shit. He just talks to people and distracts them. I talked to his mom and was just stunned when I asked her what she was doing at home to help him learn to read. Was she making him do extra work or what. She said that was the school's job. Your fucking kid can't read or write and you are just going to say that his education is all the school's job. The system is broken and the student isn't getting the help that he needs. You need to take some responsibility for your kid's education. Then she started venting to me about how he went storming out of the house with his little temper tantrum. She was saying that he was a lucky kid and that she took good care of him and he has $7000 worth of electronics in his room and that he wasn't spoiled or anything.... $7000 worth of electronics, your kid is spoiled. Why should the kid do anything with school when he's got a room full of fun? I wouldn't have. Shit I was talking to this kid and he was giving me major attitude and whining about this and that. I just straight said to him that he was the whiniest little kid I'd ever met and that he was now in high school and he needed to suck shit up.

Day 76: The Praxis of Pedagogy

My principal bought me a soy mocha this morning. I realize I'm a coffee slut cause my day became 100% better. Anyways... in my first period after SSR I handed students out cards. They had C, W, B, N, and P. They stand for Church, Worker, Bourgeoisie, Nobleman, and Peasant. I got to be king so I put a chair up on a counter and sat down. Then I had them clear all the desks from the middle. The church and noblewoman got to sit on desks below me and the peasants all stood. Then I had peasants write down their yearly income. I told them they got $100 just to make it easier to count with. They wrote it on the back of the card. Then I took half of their income and divided it between me, the noblewoman and the church. Then we talked about the noblewoman being whimsical and wanting a new hairdo and taxing a bit more to get her hair done. After that I talked a bit about how those conditions led to the French Revolution. People power. Fuck paying taxes to take care of royalty fucks.After that we read the Universal Declaration of the Rights of Man.

In second period I gave a test and then did my little spiel on subvertising. In 3rd period we finished the model minority myth and I had them pair up and create questions for the test from the reading. Then we finished up class by reviewing questions and answers.

Day 75: The Praxis of Pedagogy

What a long fucking day! I started off with Film Analysis and we started to watch the Corporation. Great movie that really drew in the kids for the most part. A lot of them didn't want to drink milk anymore after watching the part on cows and bovine growth hormones. Long movie but I stopped a bit before the end and we talked about some of the things in the movie. It's a powerful movie.

2nd period all the kids were doing PSAT so I only had 2 kids in my capoeira class. So I took the two guys to eat Eritrean food at my favorite place. They never had Eritrean food and they liked it. One kid said that it was the squishiest food he'd ever eaten. Then I had them practice on the berimbau for a while.

One of the kids I like a lot and I'm bummed for him cause he is in a lot of pain. He is caught up in gang life and he doesn't want to be. He was jumped in on his birthday and he didn't even know they were jumping him in. He never wanted to be in. But his mom and dad are in and all the people he hangs out with. His mom and dad. The kid drinks till he blacks out and then does crazy shit. I imagine he feels like he's in a slowly unfolding tragedy.

I think one of the most frustrating things about teenage life is the feeling that you aren't in control of your life. Kids get down and take things out on themselves. It's incredibly sad. They don't know they can be different because they aren't fully aware of who they are. Not that adults are but the teenage years are particularly painful. Puberty!!! I mean fuck that was awkward. Fuck that was painful. Physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Then after staff meeting I had to go to credentialling school. I left that early to get back to school and do back to school night. That was awkward cause i didn't have shit ready for parents. I just hadn't taken it into account. I had to run around making copies for parents. Ridiculous and embarassing. Got home at 8 and now I got to lesson plan for tomorrow. Lesson planning is some hard pain in the ass shit. Come up with something that interests kids everyday when I don't want to use the stinking textbook. Fuck.