My Next Hat
Well I didn't want to let the cat out of the bag too early... But I'm gonna be the next pope. I look great in hats and behind bulletproof glass. As the next pope I will bring back reverence and wrath. Folks nowadays can't pull off wrath. There's some anger, indignation, and sometimes even fury, but no wrath. I, on the other hand, have that certain "je ne sais quoi" that will allow me to bring back that old time wrath.
I also want papal power! Heck, I just like saying papal power. Throughout the years, papal power has been waning, but I promise to aggrandize the office. This Dalai Lama cat is trying to muscle in on my turf and wanting to be a bigger theocrat. I've seen his hats and they ain't shit. And is he infallible??? I think not.
I'll also be a people's pope. I plan on having my own line of pope pasta, pontiff puff cereal, pope soap, and other accoutrements befitting my papalcy. Since I'm Chinese, I'll deliver China to the Catholic Church. One billion Chinese!!!! See the Muslims catch up to that!I have my machinations in place, and once you see white smoke from the chimney you will know that I am your Pope! I'm still working on a proper papal name for immortality. Maybe Pope Ice D or Pope the Wrath!
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