So... school got broken into again this weekend. That makes 4 times in less than a year that we've been broken into. This time the crooks broke windows to get into classes. There's glass everywhere and we are waiting for the police to come and do prints. This must be a different person this time though, since windows were broken instead of doors just being opened. They stole the new computers we got. Luckily, I put my computer in the locked down computer lab.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Monday, February 20, 2006
Reflection
The week after this is finals week. Then we start a new quarter. Hopefully I can do a better job next quarter than I did this quarter. I recognize that this is my first year but I really feel sorry for the kids that had to have me this year. I know that I didn't really do well for them. It is good that I've created positive relations with students but they also need the history. It was good that I got some curriculum to use too. Now I can mix the curriculum and the textbook along with outside readings. Though I'm not a big fan of the textbook it does have the facts and information that they need. I noticed that my quality of teaching is directly related to how much schooling I'm doing. Meaning that I was a better teacher when I wasn't in my credentialling classes. I had more time to devote to teaching, grading, and all the other crap.
Things haven't been so great for me lately. My work life, personal life, and academic life have all been suffering because I am overworked, overstressed, and burning out. Stress makes everything worse and feel more intense. So now I'm not doing well in 3 things and don't have the time or energy to make one of them better. Like Bilbo Baggins would say, "Why, I feel all thin, sort of stretched, if you know what I mean: like butter that has been scraped over too much bread." If it wasn't for AL I'd be a total wreck.
Things haven't been so great for me lately. My work life, personal life, and academic life have all been suffering because I am overworked, overstressed, and burning out. Stress makes everything worse and feel more intense. So now I'm not doing well in 3 things and don't have the time or energy to make one of them better. Like Bilbo Baggins would say, "Why, I feel all thin, sort of stretched, if you know what I mean: like butter that has been scraped over too much bread." If it wasn't for AL I'd be a total wreck.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
The Praxis of Pedagogy
Motherfucker!!!! When it rains, it motherfucking pours. There is just so much fucking gang tension. Two of my CTM got kicked out for fighting with each other. School got broke into again. I got more family drama/pathos. No Child Left behind and teacher credentialling is crawling up my ass. I'm just blown away. I just wanted to teach some kids, and this is waaaay more than I signed up for.
This too shall pass.
But in the fucking meanwhile, God damn motherfucking cunt sucking shit it can beat you down. I'm 30 and fucking struggling dealing with all the shit life throws at you.. And I know myself pretty well and am a lot more mature. I can only imagine living through some of the stories that I heard about some kids. One thing that rocked my world to hear about the story of one of my kid's mother. Mom was a drug addict. At some point got slipped some other drugs by people. Continuously raped and tied to train tracks. Showed grandma where the rope had dug into her body. They won't tell the kid cause it would be too traumatic to know. What the fuck is that shit? That is some ridiculous shit to hear. If some lady didn't happen to be walking by... Kid doesn't know, but lives around secrets. Dad is dead and the kid doesn't know why either. More secrets. Ugly secrets. As you can imagine, the kid is a bit fucked in the head and is prone to lying. Live around secrets...
It's so easy to write off a kid that acts like a shit. But you dig a little deeper and you can see their suffering. Some kids you can form a bond or attachment to, some kids you can't. One knucklehead I got came up to me and said that it was important to him that I was a male. That he grew up without a father figure and I was essentially fulfilling part of that role. Makes it hard you be too angry with the kid. Sad really. His brother just got shot and killed recently. Too much suffering.
This too shall pass.
But in the fucking meanwhile, God damn motherfucking cunt sucking shit it can beat you down. I'm 30 and fucking struggling dealing with all the shit life throws at you.. And I know myself pretty well and am a lot more mature. I can only imagine living through some of the stories that I heard about some kids. One thing that rocked my world to hear about the story of one of my kid's mother. Mom was a drug addict. At some point got slipped some other drugs by people. Continuously raped and tied to train tracks. Showed grandma where the rope had dug into her body. They won't tell the kid cause it would be too traumatic to know. What the fuck is that shit? That is some ridiculous shit to hear. If some lady didn't happen to be walking by... Kid doesn't know, but lives around secrets. Dad is dead and the kid doesn't know why either. More secrets. Ugly secrets. As you can imagine, the kid is a bit fucked in the head and is prone to lying. Live around secrets...
It's so easy to write off a kid that acts like a shit. But you dig a little deeper and you can see their suffering. Some kids you can form a bond or attachment to, some kids you can't. One knucklehead I got came up to me and said that it was important to him that I was a male. That he grew up without a father figure and I was essentially fulfilling part of that role. Makes it hard you be too angry with the kid. Sad really. His brother just got shot and killed recently. Too much suffering.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Praxis of pedagogy
I really bummed about not getting to blog more. But I'm just doing too much as my kids would say. Fucking working like a Chinaman. On Tuesday I admnistered the CAHSEE. That is the California High School Exit Exam. Every kid has to pass it to graduate. There is an essay portion of the test. I read the question. It was the stupidest, most obtuse, ridiculous, preposterous question. Kids were baffled. It was bullshit. The people that makes these tests are fucktards. High stakes standardized testing is such bullshit. Creating more pressure on a student won't make them do better. But that took all day to administer and then I had class from 4-7. The week was just a blur. Trying to teach kids how to come up with a thesis and give them time to read up on their final projects. I also had to deal with crazy CTM shit. Calling around looking for a "lost" CTM. The girl ran away to her girlfriend's house. Turned off her cell phone. Told grandma she was getting on a bus and never came home. Stupid fucked up shit. I'm calling all around getting ahold of kids to see if they know where she was. We get everyone together the next day and all the "reasons" that my CTM ran away seemed to quickly lose their basis. I totally felt stupid in front of the grandma. I never fully realized it until just now. But that CTM is full of shit. Nice girl. I get along with her. But she's full of shit. Her and her buddy. Both are in my CTM. Both... full of shit. This is actually a good thing for me to realize about them. It will make my interactions with them more productive. Anyways, all this shit was done afterschool. I was calling around at 7PM till 8PM. I had a burrito I wanted to eat that in peace. It's the part of the job that is the best/worst at the school. Good close interpersonal relations. But more than just a job.
I'm getting observed next week. It's good but it makes me stressed also.
Ok here's the part that never gets talked about. Farting. Sometimes you just got gas and holding it in will give you a stomachache. In a lot of other jobs you can just get up and go to the bathroom or something. Not so with teaching. You got a whole lot of kids. It's ridiculous. I walk to corners of rooms or pretend to look for something in my closet. But you can't just cut one when you're giving instruction. It doesn't work like that. This one teacher I know would fart around kids that pissed him off and then walked away. Chemical/biological passive aggressive warfare. Fucking hilarious. I was dying when I heard it.
I don't like using the bathroom facilities at my school. No lock on the inside. You gotta yell out and hope the other side can hear you. Makes me feel too vulnerable. It would be the ultimate in embarrassing. Would have trouble making eye contact with that person for a while and we got a small staff. So be cool through school.
I'm getting observed next week. It's good but it makes me stressed also.
Ok here's the part that never gets talked about. Farting. Sometimes you just got gas and holding it in will give you a stomachache. In a lot of other jobs you can just get up and go to the bathroom or something. Not so with teaching. You got a whole lot of kids. It's ridiculous. I walk to corners of rooms or pretend to look for something in my closet. But you can't just cut one when you're giving instruction. It doesn't work like that. This one teacher I know would fart around kids that pissed him off and then walked away. Chemical/biological passive aggressive warfare. Fucking hilarious. I was dying when I heard it.
I don't like using the bathroom facilities at my school. No lock on the inside. You gotta yell out and hope the other side can hear you. Makes me feel too vulnerable. It would be the ultimate in embarrassing. Would have trouble making eye contact with that person for a while and we got a small staff. So be cool through school.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
The Praxis of Pedagogy
So I've been up writing lesson plans for this Tuesday 9 unit class. It's going to be a long day tomorrow. Anyways, today I decided to dock points of students that didn't have their own SSR book. Next quarter, I will make it mandatory to have one book that students read continuously and if they don't bring it then they lose points on their contracts. I didn't really do a good job of enforcing that and I should have. That aspect of SSR needs some serious honing. In my 1st & 3rd period class, I had students take out the calendars that I made for them and write that they were to bring their final project stuff on Thursday and Friday. Then I wrote that on my homework white board. I've learned that the fewer excuses they can give me for not having their shit, the easier it is to discipline them for their unpreparedness.
In 1st, I taught them SQ3R study techniques and I have to say that I'm getting better at explaining that to students. I've been learning where they will most likely mess up and been addressing that beforehand. It's still a hard technique for students to really get though. At the end of class, I did evaluations of my teaching as required by my credentialling program. Teacher evaluations are really great to do but still intimidating. But shit, I grade them... I was pretty happy though cause students said some pretty cool things. Most really seemed to like metacognition. Students wrote about applying it to other aspects in their life. That really made me happy to read. Another nice one that a student said was that they loved to come to my class cause it is always so calm. That's what I've been trying to achieve so I was really happy to read that. Mood is really important to me. I believe that creating a non-threatening and peaceful environment is essential to learning, especially with the population that I'm working with. The kids I work with deal with so much shit they don't need to get it from me.
In 2nd period, we had a discussion on some questions about "Things Fall Apart." I was pretty happy cause students were really chiming in. I mean they were raising their hands and yelling out the answers they were so into it. The boys also seem to like to break down Okonkwo and talk about how he is a fucked up guy. I even had my "problem" student participating. He was just yelling out, but I was just so happy that he was participating that I let it slide. And when he said something good I immediately rewarded him with academic points and I gave him a 10 on his contract at the end of class. My friend said it best about the kid. He starts off slow and then tapers off. Anyways, I was stoked that the kid exhibited a pulse. Usually he's trying to pass out or not do anything in class. The kid has really low skills but I also think he's high a lot. I know he smokes weed. I just wonder if he's coming to class high.
In 3rd period, we did the terrorism lesson where the students came up with their own definition then a group definition of terrorism. Then i gave them real life situations where the names of the countries and individuals had been changed. They were to apply their definitions of terrorism to the situation and decide who were the terrorists and what activities were terrorist. This is a cool exercise but I'm not organizing it right and I need the entire class period. We were too pressed for time as I read each situation and gave the actual example. i think next time I'll give out all the situations to the groups. That way I won't have to read the situation quickly and tell who the actual countries are.
In 1st, I taught them SQ3R study techniques and I have to say that I'm getting better at explaining that to students. I've been learning where they will most likely mess up and been addressing that beforehand. It's still a hard technique for students to really get though. At the end of class, I did evaluations of my teaching as required by my credentialling program. Teacher evaluations are really great to do but still intimidating. But shit, I grade them... I was pretty happy though cause students said some pretty cool things. Most really seemed to like metacognition. Students wrote about applying it to other aspects in their life. That really made me happy to read. Another nice one that a student said was that they loved to come to my class cause it is always so calm. That's what I've been trying to achieve so I was really happy to read that. Mood is really important to me. I believe that creating a non-threatening and peaceful environment is essential to learning, especially with the population that I'm working with. The kids I work with deal with so much shit they don't need to get it from me.
In 2nd period, we had a discussion on some questions about "Things Fall Apart." I was pretty happy cause students were really chiming in. I mean they were raising their hands and yelling out the answers they were so into it. The boys also seem to like to break down Okonkwo and talk about how he is a fucked up guy. I even had my "problem" student participating. He was just yelling out, but I was just so happy that he was participating that I let it slide. And when he said something good I immediately rewarded him with academic points and I gave him a 10 on his contract at the end of class. My friend said it best about the kid. He starts off slow and then tapers off. Anyways, I was stoked that the kid exhibited a pulse. Usually he's trying to pass out or not do anything in class. The kid has really low skills but I also think he's high a lot. I know he smokes weed. I just wonder if he's coming to class high.
In 3rd period, we did the terrorism lesson where the students came up with their own definition then a group definition of terrorism. Then i gave them real life situations where the names of the countries and individuals had been changed. They were to apply their definitions of terrorism to the situation and decide who were the terrorists and what activities were terrorist. This is a cool exercise but I'm not organizing it right and I need the entire class period. We were too pressed for time as I read each situation and gave the actual example. i think next time I'll give out all the situations to the groups. That way I won't have to read the situation quickly and tell who the actual countries are.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
The Praxis of Pedagogy
God damn what a fucking week. The beginning of the week was all taken up by getting together the grades for the school. Jeremy and I bust our humps creating progress reports for the whole school using easy grade pro. It was a draining fucking effort but the result was pretty good. It's not perfect but we've been instituting an entirely new grading system for the entire school. Shit... we are the fucking IT department. So I'm pretty happy having gotten that out of the way. But I was supposed to turn in a week of detailed ( I mean practically scripted verbatim) lesson plans on Tuesday to my teacher. I didn't turn it in and she busted my balls about it. I just didn't have the fricking time in the week though. It wasn't a lack of desire it was a lack of hours. I realized it this week but I've been putting in 15-16 hour days for a while now. Now I bust on my kids when they don't turn in their work, but for the vast majority of it all they do is school. A lot of them don't have jobs, so their only job is school. I got a FULL time job teaching and going to school.
On Wednesday we had a board meeting from 4-7PM and luckily my principal and our 30 year veteran teacher had my back when talking to my advising teacher. They told her about how I was busting my balls working. That made me feel better and gave me a brief reprieve, but I still had to turn in my work ASAP. This coming week is going to be another killer. I got the detailed lesson plans, Tuesday and Wednesday classes from 4-7, and doing all the shit that I need to not look like a complete fool in front of my students. They've turned in a bunch of stuff to me that still hasn't been graded yet. Grading is totally out the door for me to the detriment of my students.
In other news, I've been working with this cool girl Nora to try and get vegetarian food up in our school. We talked and she told me the first thing that we need to do is see if there is a demand and if people will buy it. So I had students fill out a questionnaire and I got back one of the funniest responses. The question was, "Do you know some reasons why people choose to go vegetarian?" A student answered, "I don't know. But I didn't climb to the top of the food chain to just eat salad." I was fucking rolling. What a funny and honest answer. I may disagree with it, but I can respect it.
What a week. I'm fucking tired. I had my saturday class and I said that I was going to party. AL and I went to this club to go dance cause i had to get it out of my system. Now it's superbowl time. I want Seattle to win cause they are west coast, but Troy Polamalu is my favorite football player. But whoever wins, I just hope it's good.
On Wednesday we had a board meeting from 4-7PM and luckily my principal and our 30 year veteran teacher had my back when talking to my advising teacher. They told her about how I was busting my balls working. That made me feel better and gave me a brief reprieve, but I still had to turn in my work ASAP. This coming week is going to be another killer. I got the detailed lesson plans, Tuesday and Wednesday classes from 4-7, and doing all the shit that I need to not look like a complete fool in front of my students. They've turned in a bunch of stuff to me that still hasn't been graded yet. Grading is totally out the door for me to the detriment of my students.
In other news, I've been working with this cool girl Nora to try and get vegetarian food up in our school. We talked and she told me the first thing that we need to do is see if there is a demand and if people will buy it. So I had students fill out a questionnaire and I got back one of the funniest responses. The question was, "Do you know some reasons why people choose to go vegetarian?" A student answered, "I don't know. But I didn't climb to the top of the food chain to just eat salad." I was fucking rolling. What a funny and honest answer. I may disagree with it, but I can respect it.
What a week. I'm fucking tired. I had my saturday class and I said that I was going to party. AL and I went to this club to go dance cause i had to get it out of my system. Now it's superbowl time. I want Seattle to win cause they are west coast, but Troy Polamalu is my favorite football player. But whoever wins, I just hope it's good.
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