Young Men's Restorative Justice Circle

On Thursday, I did my first circle focusing in on one student. This circle was done the way that circles are supposed to be done. It was composed only of guys and was for the one student (IF) that I had written about before. Since one of the problems with circles that we had been having was that we mandated it, this circle was totally voluntary. I asked IF, his brother OG, and his friend SBP if he would participate in a circle and they all said yes though SBP had to drop out the day of because he wasn't feeling well. For the adults, I asked his JC, SDS from the afterschool program, and UL and MH from the afterschool tutoring program.

I started off talking about the purpose of the circle and reminding everyone that they have sat in circle before and to please respect the process. We opened with a rap from UL that set a positive tone and then we did the check-in. From the get go the vibe was really positive. That's the thing when circles are voluntary. People act right because they want to be there. From there we created a set of guidelines that we all wanted to follow. This all flowed very smoothly.

For my first question, I asked everyone why there were here for IF and what did they like about him. I recounted a story about watching him spit a piece and being impressed because he was the only one up there without notes and the poetry was about love and it was pretty deep. Then everyone told a story about him and when the talking piece got to him I had him say something that he liked about himself. Starting off with all these nice things, we then moved to the issues that we were concerned about. But what was great was that this didn't come from a finger-wagging place, but a place of genuine concern and the difference was obvious. His CTM JC started first and everyone in the circle got to say their concerns. When the talking piece got to him he told of some of his recent problems, but it was done very inarticulately and disjointed. A far cry from his spoken word pieces. It was really important to have his brother OG there, because he was able to express his concern for his brother which seemed that he had never directly done before. Guys aren't so great with the communication so that's understandable. OG was also able to tell his brother's business coming from a place of concern and not it be a snitching thing.

After we talked about the issues, we talked about the impact and how IF's recent behavior has affected everyone. This was also a place where we were able to express our concern for him but also let him know the effects that it has had on us. This was powerful, because one of the things with teenage boys and this kid in particular is that they have a hard time seeing how their actions affect others. They are so intently focused on themselves that there is a tunnel vision. It's almost a solipsistic thing.

From there we moved to taking responsibility. Everyone talked about what they felt their responsibilities were to IF and what they would do for him. This was an interesting things to do, because I've never really sat in a circle where we talked about the responsibility component. Reflecting, I see that this really adds to the community and inclusion part of the circle. That everyone takes responsibility for IF and for him to hear that was important. It allows us to build that web of relationships. It helps to break that teenage egocentrism.

Next I asked about what were the needs of the people in the circle. This was interesting, because then it made IF think about what he needed to do for the people around him. Once again, I don't think that he ever thought about this. He's had everyone controlling his life and telling him what to do. In some ways, he's been living in a reactionary mode, as most teenagers do. To hear what people needed from him in a non-forceful punishing way was a departure from most of his adult interactions. I think one of the things that makes restorative justice work is that it is totally different from most people's typical experiences. Plus the restorative version of justice immediately strikes a chord in people's lives that are used to the punitive version. The values of restorative justice are the values that we create in the circle.

After talking about the needs, we moved to solutions. I asked what was he going to specifically do to better this situation. He talked about the things that he needed to do (e.g. talk to people, not hold things in, work harder, get his hours off). What was incredibly amazing and powerful about this was that he had found his voice. He was talking in complete sentences and it made sense. He was no longer mumbling one word answers bouncing from thought to thought. It was also great to hear him say what he wanted to do to make things better instead of him just saying the "right" shit because he wanted to get people off his back. He words rang truer and hopefully they will be. Next we asked if this would be enough for the people in the circle. We all agreed that if IF did what he said he wanted to do that that would be enough.

Finally, I asked if anything was missing or there were any last words. And for the closing, I asked everyone to share how they were feeling at the end of the circle. That was the way that circles are supposed to be run and organized. It was a vastly different experience and all the participants agreed.

The next day I talked to the adult participants and they were all really happy to be a part of the circle and want to do more. JC texted me and said now that he's been through it, he understands the process better. This has got me juiced to do more circles and I've got others that want to participate.